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Santo's Workshop
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Displaying posts with tag IdontGetPaidEnoughForThis.Reset Filter
Santo's Workshop

Kaiju Slaying Omake: Rei Mysterio

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Kaiju Slaying For Death And Profit Ch 30

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Kaiju Slaying For Death And Profit Ch 29

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Kaiju Slaying For Death And Profit Ch 28

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Kaiju Slaying For Death And Profit Ch 27

Good afternoon. I got enough done during the week that I was able to finish the chapter a bit earlier than last weekend!
Whooo!
Them eighty+ jobs the dumbasses in charge took are coming home to roost and making life difficult though. So I've got that going for me.
...
TT-TT
Here is the next chapter of Kaiju Slaying. I hope you lot have as much fun reading it as I did writing it.
Side note. Many thanks to Asiatore who has been my main source of accomplishing accurate German screeching by Asuka. His aid has been absolutely stellar and the only reason I'm only now bringing him up is that I am, in a word, incompetent. Ever since Asuka had a first correct German cursing he helped, but by the time it was time to post, I was too brain dead to remember to give kudos where they are due.
So...yeah apologies for that. BUT!...Yeah I got nothing. I only pretend at competence at the best of times.
Important note. Small Trigger Warning for imagery similar to sexual assault. Come on, most of you know which angel this is.
=][=
[Visual confirmation of an Angel. Displaying maximum magnification.] Rockerboy said, the screen showing something that looked…well…downright angelic. I could see the vague impression of a body, but it was mainly an enormous luminous winged being silhouetted against the blackness of space.
[It’s holding geosynchronous orbit. It does not appear to have any intent to descend.] Glasses simp said.
[Is it waiting for the right opportunity to leave orbit and descend right on top of us?] Misato muttered, glaring at the screen. [Or maybe it’s able to destroy us from its current position?]
[Difficult to make that call ma’am. Could be either.] Glasses said.
[Doesn’t matter all that much. We don’t have many options until the target enters our effective attack range.] Misato sighed. [An Eva cannot intercept a target in orbit.]
I sighed and tapped my finger against my forearm. Whole lot of hurry up and wait. I totally could have finished my lecture about personal space.
[What’s the status on the Pilots?] Misato asked.
[Units 00, 01, 02 and 04 status, all green. The Pilots are all loaded in their Evas and are ready to launch. Mister Nagisa is on standby.]
My lip twitched.
I wasn’t certain I trusted that little shit with my back while fighting an Angel. So it was a good thing he was grounded.
[Roger.] Misato said. [Launch unit 04 and 00, prep for extreme long-distance sniping. Equip Unit 00 with the prototype high power positron cannon SSDF Tech delivered last week.]
[But ma’am, that cannon is still going through trials.] Maya said.
[It’s also the only thing we have that has any hope of reaching the Angel in orbit. Do it.]
[Ma’am.]
I didn’t like being held in reserve. By the look on her face, neither did Asuka. I considered speaking up but ultimately decided against it. Misato was a useful check on Gendo’s leadership, I couldn’t undermine her authority too much without compromising that.
In a surprisingly quick turnaround, both Evas were ready for deployment and Misato gave them their final instructions.
[Okay you two, Hikari, you will deploy within the city and you’ll receive the positron rifle soon after. The buildings have been evacuated so feel free to use them as cover. Rei will deploy a distance behind you and cover you from the rear. Clear?]
[Roger.] Rei answered immediately.
[Uhh…R-Right! I-I mean, roger!]
The Evas launched, I opened two screens on my plug’s HUD to show me their main feed.
The day was so heavily overcast it looked like night, rain falling in a deluge, limiting visibility and forcing Rei and Hikari to rely on thermals.
Nothing happened for long minutes beyond the occasional egghead mentioning a shift in the Angel’s orbit.
Looking at the cannon and all of the equipment that was set up in order to fire it, equipment that included a miniaturized nuclear reactor, I was hit by a stroke of inspiration and sent Virgo a text message via my HUD.
Sure, the resource I was going to expend was precious in the extreme, but I felt it warranted under the current circumstances.
That text sent, it was out of my hands until it came time to punch it to death. I vaguely recalled Rei sacrificing herself to defeat the next Angel, but couldn’t off the top of my head remember how this one was dealt with. Hopefully it wouldn’t be as annoying as the pocket dimension Angel because—
Hikari’s view on my screen whited out, from Rei’s screen I could see a solid beam of light stabbing through the clouds to bathe Unit 04 in its radiance.
Alarms began immediately.
[Is that a directed energy weapon!?] Misato demanded.
[It’s devoid of thermal energy properties!] Rockerboy said.
[Ma’am! Unit 04’s psychological graph is chaotic! Psychological contamination has begun!] Maya called out, her voice strained.
[Psychological warfare?] Ritsuko whispered. [No…a direct attack on the human psyche?]
[Oh god! Oh god, oh god, oh god! It’s coming in! It’s forcing its way in!] Hiraki at first screamed, then fell to whimpers, dropping the rifle and curling up. [Oh god oh god oh god! Shinji! Shinji help me! Shinji, it’s inside me! It’s inside me, Shinji!]
“Oi! You heard her! Launch Unit 01!” I snarled.
[Shinji you will stay where you are!] Misato screamed to be heard over Hikari’s panicked shouts, then turned to four eyes. [Get me the analysis on that beam!]
[All we can tell is that its visual component is on the visible spectrum! Preliminary analysis by the MAGI speculate it could share properties with an AT field!] Four eyes answered.
[Sit rep on Hikari!] Ritsuko snapped.
[Psychological contamination has entered into the Y!] Maya shouted out.
[It hurts! It hurts it hurts! It’s inside me!] Hikari begged as Unit 04 trembled, its head arching back, its arms seemingly pulled open by an invisible force. [Shinji! Shinji help me!]
[Firing.] Came Rei’s voice, still with false serenity.
[The systems aren’t ready to fire yet! The heatsinks will—!] Four eyes screamed but didn’t finish before the seeming night turned to day, a solid beam of condensed annihilation roaring with primordial rage out of the barrel of the cannon. The line of ruinous light climbed ever higher, seemingly slowly due to the distance it had to cover, even if it was, in fact, moving several times faster than sound. It pierced the clouds and Unit 00 could see it no more.
On the main screen, a feed from the satellites in range showed the beam curbing over as it approached the apex of its parabolic arc, an instant before contact, it slammed into the Angel’s AT field, the beam breaking up into six lesser beams around the target.
[Negative contact! According to readings we need at least five times as much energy to break through the Angel’s AT field at these distances!] Rocker boy called out.
[That was maximum power!] Four eyes called out. [Even if we could run the reactor at over 100% capacity, that shot damaged the heatsink system and melted several capacitors! We won’t get another shot for several minutes while they’re changed out!]
[Unit 04’s psychograph is deteriorating!] Maya shouted.
[What about the LCL psychological firewall?] Ritsuko asked, tense.
[Ineffective! The catalyst shows no effect!] Maya said.
[Prioritize life support, prevent flow reversal from the Eva!]
[Shinji! Oh god, oh god Shinji! Shinji! Shinji help me!]
[Hikari! Hikari you need to retreat!] Misato ordered.
[Help! Help! It hurts! It’s going deeper! It’s going deeper! Help me!]
Okay, fuck this shit.
“Unit 01 launching!” I snarled and kicked the restraint holding the platform, the ascent crushing me into the too-small seat.
[Shinji you are not cleared to launch!] Misato snarled. [We can’t risk another Eva, Hikari has orders to retreat!]
“Yeah well, too bad!” I growled. “Rei, I’ll buy you the time for another shot!”
[But—]
“I trust you!” I said as the cradle slammed into place. I tore my way out of the deployment cradle, spotted Unit 04, and charged, setting all of my Defenses to maximum and going through the mental exercises taught at Basic to combat direct mental attacks. “My mind is a fortress.” I muttered. “Its gates are barred and guarded.”
The light struck me like a physical blow, Unit 01 staggered, I could feel a lit plasma torch trying to drill into my temple as I forced the Eva forward until Unit 04 was in its shadow. That done, I turned to face the light, my arms coming up instinctively into a guard stance, a move mirrored by the Evangelion. I took a dep breath as the full attention of the Angel fell on me, I could feel its curiosity at the fact that someone, anyone, could rebuff its advance.
The Angel’s mind sharpened, an exultant chorus ringing in my ears as it dug its tendrils into my mind fortress and seeded the cracks with creepers. Its surprise was palpable when I reinforced the walls, throwing a spike of thought up the connection it had forged in retaliation. It flinched back, before pressing down on my mind with ever tightening focus.
I took a deep breath and snarled. “COME ON THEN! SHOW ME WHAT PASSES FOR FURY AMONG YOUR MISBEGOTTEN KIND!”
=][=
“Shinji!? Shinji respond!” Major Katsuragi screamed. “Shinji!?”
Maya watched the slowly settling form of Unit 04, the Evangelion curling in on itself, making itself as small as possible, hiding as much of itself as it could in Unit 01’s shadow. Hikari had thankfully stopped screaming, her quiet sobs were a lot less distracting.
“What’s the status on Unit 01’s psychograph?” Ritsuko asked.
“It’s showing strain. But it’s steady.” Maya answered, looking at the screen in awe. Unit 01’s arms would be pulled open as if it were wrestling with an opponent, but always it would return to a guarding position, facing off against the light…against the Angel. “It…they are very similar readings to Unit 04 ma’am. But it’s almost as if the Evangelion is facing a much-reduced load.”
Ritsuko read through the relevant information before her face paled. “Impossible.”
Maya blinked in surprise. “Ma’am?”
“He’s…he’s taking the brunt of that load.” Ritsuko said, covering her mouth with her hand. “That’s why the Eva is under less strain. Shinji is taking up the burden himself. What we can read through the instruments is what the Eva is picking up through synchronization.”
“But…but that’s not possible.” Maya said, looking through the readings. “The amount of psychological contamination indicates that the assault on the psyche…it would turn a normal human brain catatonic in seconds.”
“At most.” Ritsuko agreed. “But it’s the only thing that makes sense.”
“If that’s the case…what…what can we do?” Maya asked.
Ritsuko remained quiet for long seconds while Shigeru and Makoto discussed options with Major Katsuragi.
“Prepare another shot with the Positron Canon.” The Director called out.
“Sir?” Shigeru asked.
“Take another shot with the cannon, then recall Unit 00.” The Director said.
“What about Units 04 and 01?” Makoto asked.
“They will remain deployed. You have your orders.”
“Sir!”
Maya turned back to her station. “What can we do?”
“Look at his vitals.” Ritsuko said, pointing to the readings. “His heartbeat is elevated, and his temperature is rising. I do not think this is a viral or bacterial fever. It’s due to strain. Monitor his life support, lower the temperature of the LCL so it acts as a heatsink.”
“Ma’am.”
Maya did, she watched as Shinji’s vitals stabilized to an extent. The Eva’s psychograph remained strained, it ebbed and flowed as its arms were pulled apart, before it painfully pulled them back in to guard itself.
“It must be trying to understand the human mind.” Ritsuko muttered.
“Ma’am?” Maya asked.
“What Hikari said.” Ritsuko said, speaking slowly, as if measuring the weight of each individual word. “She said ‘it’s inside me’ and ‘it hurts.’ The fact that we cannot measure any physical phenomena caused by the light. It must be using the light as a vector to create a psychic link, synchronizing with the Pilots, a bastardized version of how a Pilot can synchronize with and move an Eva. That’s what’s causing the strain.”
Maya gasped. “That’s why Shinji said his mind was a fortress. He figured that out in the time it took for him to deploy.”
“Only problem with that.” Ritsuko muttered darkly. “Is that eventually, every fortress falls.”
On the screen, one of Unit 01’s arms was forced to the side, its back arced, and it took a step back, almost as if it had been pushed.
Unlike every other time, the arm did not return to a guard position.
“Makoto! Tell them to hurry with the capacitors!” Maya called out.
“The field crews are testing the safety of—” Makoto began.
“There is no time for that!” She shouted as Unit 01 struggled to keep its other arm in guard position, its jaws open in a silent scream of pain and rage. The psychograph showing steadily heightening strain.
“Very well!” He relayed orders then turned back. “Work crews are retreating…One operator is missing!”
“Doesn’t matter.” The Director said. “Fire the cannon the moment the capacitors are fully charged.”
Makoto made a face at that but relayed the Director’s orders. Two minutes later, they began the firing sequence that Rei had skipped last time, resulting in the delay.
[Accelerator synchronization, start.]
[Voltage climbing, approaching threshold.]
[Forced convergence device, activating.]
[Adjusting for Earth’s rotation and gravity…plus 0.0003.]
[Superconductor induction system…online.]
[Chamber interior pressure at maximum.]
“You have the gun, Rei.” The director said. “Fire when ready.”
[About that.] Said a voice Maya did not recognize.
“Who is this!?” Major Katsuragi snarled. “This is an official channel reserved for operations by Special Agency NERV! Identify yourself!”
[On this occasion, I am an ally.] Said the voice of a woman, her cadence stilted and oddly paced, there was a distortion in the voice that wasn’t due to interference. [I was ordered to present you this gift. Do not waste it.]
[Who are you?] Rei asked.
[As I said, an ally. And to you, a friend, dear sister.] The voice said. [I suggest you fire. It would be a shame if the cannon were to explode.]
“You will explain yourself this instant or I’ll—!” Major Katsuragi began.
[Firing.] Rei said.
“Rei, wait!” The Director pleaded.
The Control Room was scorched by green light. The audio pickups all shrieked in seeming agony before cutting out. The ground trembled as the massive recoil propagated through the earth.
“The shot is far stronger than the last one!” Shigeru shouted. “We cannot gain a precise reading, all our instruments are at maximum!”
“The barrel is overheated!” Makoto said. “The heatsinks are all overwhelmed! It’s only a matter of time before the cannon melts!”
On the screen, the beam entered orbit. But it was too straight, the shot had been calculated with the known parameters of the positron cannon. A shot that was this much more energetic would sail right past due to the overcompensation of correction for gravity, the curvature of the earth, and the Coriolis effect.
On the screen, the beam of light twisted like a serpent and drove itself at the Angel.
“What the—!?” Shigeru began, before the beam slammed into the Angel’s AT field.
It broke apart, parts of it careening off in every direction. Maya feared that even this unexpected boon would prove to be too little, before the AT field collapsed and the beam sheared through the Angel’s wing, its light dimming, Maya would swear she heard a too-human scream of pain.
On her screen, Evangelion Unit 01’s arm slammed forward, it took a resolute step forward and firmed its defensive stance.
“The Angel has suffered damage! One of its wings is drifting away, it has been captured by Earth’s gravity.” Makoto called out. “Large parts of the Positron Cannon have melted through! It requires a full reconstruction!”
“Did we get the core!?” Major Katsuragi demanded.
“We cannot tell!” Makoto answered.
“The Angel’s attack has not ended. We missed the core.” The Director stated. “Rei, retreat and descend to the Dogma, retrieve the Spear.”
“The Spear of Longinus?” The Vice-Director gasped. “Ikari, you can’t!”
“It is the only means left to us that can defeat the Angel.” The Director said in his calm, steady voice. “Do it.”
[Yes sir.] Rei said as Unit 00 made its way to the nearest deployment cradle.
“But sir! By allowing an Eva to come into contact with Adam, there is a risk of triggering the Third Impact!” Major Katsuragi said, making Maya’s heart jump to her throat. “I beg you to reconsider!”
Maya looked over her shoulder, and Ritsuko calmly shook her head, she gestured for Maya to return her attention to her instruments. As far as Major Katsuragi’s statement, the Director didn’t even honor it with a response.
Maya monitored Unit 00 as it was retrieved, then as it made its way through the Geofront. It hitched onto a reinforced cable at the center of the Geofront and began its descent.
[Opening gates ten through fifteen of the Dogma.] Naomi reported. [Unit 00 has now passed Malebolge number six…now opening gates sixteen through twenty…Unit 00 has reached Terminal Dogma.]
Maya filed away her questions as to what Terminal Dogma was for a later date. She perked an ear as she heard Vice-Director Fuyutsuki arguing quietly with Director Ikari, but couldn’t hear them over the murmurs of reports and updates that permeated the Control Room.
“But using the Spear of Longinus without SEELE’s permission will cause serious trouble!” The Vice-Director snapped, no longer speaking softly.
“We cannot afford to lose two Evangelions and our Ace Pilot.” The Director stated calmly, only his rise in volume betraying his true feelings. “We have exhausted every available avenue, and even interference from an unknown third party was not enough to achieve success. We do not have a choice.”
“A choice?” The Vice-Director spat. “We both know that you are merely looking for a pretext!”
Maya had to stop paying attention to them as, on the screen, Unit 01 fell to a knee, its back bowed as if it were being crushed by an immense weight, her instruments began screaming a moment later. “Shinji’s brainwaves have begun a rapid decline, Unit 01’s psychological graph is turning chaotic! Shinji’s vitals are declining, life support cannot keep up!”
[Unit 00 now passing level two! Surfacing now!]
On the main screen, Maya saw Unit 00 emerge, kneeling on a large deployment cradle, clutched tightly in its hand was a strange bi-pronged, blood-red spear sized for an Evangelion.
“The Spear of Longinus.” Major Katsuragi murmured as Unit 00 stood and took up a stance for throwing javelins. “So that’s it huh? Not how I’d imagined it.”
“Unit 00 has assumed throwing position.” Shigeru reported. “Ready to cast the spear!”
“Target confirmed, adjustments complete!” Makoto called out.
On her screen, Maya saw Unit 00 drawing more and more power as it readied to throw the weapon. “Countown to throw. T-minus ten, nine, eight.” Unit 00’s body coiled like a spring. “Seven, six, five, four.” Its muscles trembled with ever heightening tension. Rei’s face on Maya’s screen was a mask of grim concentration. “Three, two…one!” Maya took a deep breath. “Do it Rei!”
Rei’s mask fell away, her anger and worry becoming evident as Unit 00 uncoiled in a sinuous movement that began at its feet, flowed up its calves, thighs, back and arms, along with the movement, it took two steps forward to build momentum. An instant before casting the weapon, the spear coiled into a tight corkscrew. Unit 00’s fist broke the sound barrier as it cast their last hope to see the Angel dead.
As it passed into the upper atmosphere, it blasted away the rain clouds, casting away the penumbra and bathing Tokyo-3 in the light of the sun. On the satellite view, they saw the clouds being blasted away from a significant percentage of the entire hemisphere. It looked like a bolt of red light as it traveled up into orbit.
The wounded Angel put up its AT field for the third time, the spear slammed into it, but rather than be deflected, it bowed the force field inward, like a spike pressing against cloth. It pushed several meters into the field before being halted, and Maya’s heart fell.
Before despair could set in, Makoto’s readings indicated that it had begun accelerating. It tore through the AT field and passed through the Angel as if it were made of tissue paper, unraveling the monster at the seams.
The Control Room fell quiet, as they waited for the final verdict.
“Target…the target has been obliterated.” Shigeru called out, and there was a unified sigh of relief from most of everyone in the control room.
“Unit 01’s psychological graph stabilizing. Shinji’s vitals normalizing.” Maya informed.
“What happened to the Spear!?” The Vice-Director demanded.
“It’s exceeded first cosmic velocity.” Makoto answered. “If it maintains its current trajectory, it should settle into Lunar orbit in the next few hours.”
The Vice-Director’s lip curled up into a slight snarl. “Recovery will be virtually impossible.”
“Yes sir. We currently have no means of recovering an object of that size with that much mass.” Makoto agreed.
“Send investigation teams to the site of the Positron Cannon.” The Director ordered. “Find any trace of our mysterious benefactors.”
“Sir!”
Maya ignored the orders being issued, and wasted no time in dispatching rescue and retrieval teams. Units 01 and 04 were retrieved without trouble, and the pilots extracted once the quarantine was lifted.
Maya went personally to the extraction. The first to be retrieved was Hikari, and her Eva’s quarantine was lifted first due to its lesser exposure. She was bundled up into a blanket by her older sister and led away to the infirmary, crying all the while.
When it was finally time to get Shinji out, he didn’t wait for the techs and medics, lifting himself out of the plug and stumbling out as he made a beeline for Rei.
Maya’s relief dried up as he fell to his knees mid-step, blood pouring out of his nose.
“Shinji!” Rei gasped, rushing forward, reaching him before anyone else. Maya did not realize she’d done the same until she was pushed out of the way alongside Rei by the medics.
Shinji did not react well to that, he snarled and shoved the medics so hard they stumbled back several meters and fell. “Muh!”
“Shinji?” Maya asked, stepping closer alongside Rei. “Shinji, can you understand me?”
“Buh.” He said, drool dripping down the side of his mouth. “Buuuh. Muh.”
Oh no.
Oh no no no.
“Shinji?” Rei asked, shaking his shoulders.
He continued to babble in response. But growled when the medics tried to approach.
Maya stepped forward, and when he did not react with hostility, tried taking his wrist. His hand shot forward and closed around hers with a painful grip, but Maya bit her lip and bore it and spoke in as soothing a tone as she could muster. “Mister Shinji. I need you to be calm, okay? The nice medics will help you.”
“Buuuh?”
“Yes, Mister Shinji, they’re here to help. Okay? I need you to remain calm, can you do that for me?”
“Muh.”
The medics approached again, more slowly, and though he tensed, he did not react with hostility unless they tried to separate him from Rei and Maya.
She absently reached up and wiped the drool from his lips with her sleeve.
This was temporary. He would recover.
He had to.
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Santo's Workshop
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Kaiju Slaying For Death And Profit Ch 26

Good evening y'all. Sorry for the late post. Been a busy weekend.
Chances are next weekend I'll actually be able to finally relax though! Or maybe I'll just be even more busy. We'll see.
I'll go into detail over why I was so busy in the Writing Update I'll write Soon(TM).
For now, here is the next chapter of Kaiju Slaying. It was...surprisingly challenging to write. I hope you lot enjoy it. If you do, lemme know in a comment.
=][=
Asuka kept her breathing slow and deep, maintaining the delicate mental balance necessary to synchronize with an Evangelion. The number on her screen fluctuated between eighty-two and eighty-six percent.
She was aware of the other pilots in the test plugs to her left and right. Rei lagged behind Asuka’s own score at seventy-six, Hikari was at a respectable sixty-eight.
Shinji sat at an immovable ninety-six percent. Where he had been the whole session.
She opened her eyes and looked at the test control room’s viewing port, where she saw the new one.
The Sixth Children. Holder of the new out-of-combat high record of ninety-seven percent synchronization.
She wasn’t yet certain whether or not his presence was a threat to the other pilots. The invincible Shinji’s position was secure, of course, how could NERV ever be rid of its golden goose of Angel Slaying?
But even if this new kid had been sent to ‘heighten NERV’s state of readiness’ Asuka knew the truth.
He’d been sent to replace the lowest performer, Hikari until recently.
Rei may be the lowest performer now, but that was due to her machine as much as anything else. Rei was saddled piloting the prototype, the Evangelion NERV used because it was better to have a shit machine now, than a production quality machine after the dust settled and the world probably ended.
No, the presence of the new guy was not a good thing. No matter how they tried to spin it.
Asuka, Rei, and Hikari had only recently managed to become an effective fighting unit in the simulator…and stupid Shinji too. One of them being replaced with a higher performing pilot who’d had none of the squad tactics training done would make them less effective, not more.
[Alright, that’s enough you four. We’re done for the day.] Ritsuko’s assistant egghead said. [Get ready for some more intense testing tomorrow. Repairs to the Evas should be completed tonight, meaning we’ll have to recalibrate them.]
[Alright.] Shinji said gruffly. [Thanks for the heads up, Maya.]
Ritsuko’s assistant, Maya, lit up at the recognition from Übermensch Shinji.
They were all let out of the testing plugs and made their way to the changing rooms to change into their street clothes. Meeting up with Shinji at the break room.
He looked irritated, followed closely as he was by the new guy.
Asuka stretched. “Man, it’s been too long since we’ve only worked a half day, what will you be doing?”
Shinji heaved an explosive sigh. “I was planning to have some me-time. But I have a feeling the new guy will stick to me like gum to my boot, so that’s down the shitter…” Shinji looked at her and Hikari with an appraising eye. “Think you guys can show him around?”
Asuka scowled. “Are you trying to pawn him off on us?”
“Yes, is it working?”
Asuka scoffed, but this was a valuable opportunity…“Who the hell is this guy anyways?”
Shinji shrugged. “Dunno, he just stalks me while I walk around NERV.”
The new guy looked affably bemused. “I’m Nagisa Kaworu. It’s a pleasure to make your acquaintance.”
Now that she had a closer look at him, the healing bruise on his cheek was painfully evident on his too-pale skin. She looked from the huge bruise, to Shinji’s gorilla-like hands, back to the new kid. Then turned to Shinji and put her hands on her hips. “Alright, what’d he do to deserve that?”
“Give him a minute.” Shinji growled low in his throat as the new kid, Kaworu, walked up to Rei and looked from the tips of her toes to the top of her blue haired head.
He leaned forward, getting right up against her face and muttered. “How interesting. You are so much more, yet so much less.”
Hikari took a scandalized gasp and physically pushed him away from Rei. “I understand you’re foreign, but here, that is getting way too close!”
Kaworu’s affably bemused smile returned. “Ah, my apologies. I was just intrigued.”
“Intrigued? In what regard?” Hikari asked, scowling.
“It’s my first time seeing somebody like me.” He said, his red eyes returning to Rei.
Hikari looked from one to the other. “Erm…An albino?”
Kaworu’s smile gained a mysterious edge. “Something like that.”
“I am not like you.” Rei whispered in her usual way, her words stated with iron hard conviction. “We are very similar. But I am not like you.”
Kaworu tilted his head like a bird, his smile changing again, but Asuka couldn’t quite parse what his smile hinted at. “I can see you believe that. But that’s not something that’s easily changed.”
“Asuka.” Hikari whispered. “I can’t tell if they’re fighting or if he’s flirting with her, and if he is, I’m worried for him.”
“And here I thought German college boys were the worst.” Asuka muttered back.
Kaworu took a step closer to Rei, leaning forward again. Only for the huge sapient wall that was Shinji to step in his path and none-too-gently push him away from his girlfriend. His face the type of calm it often adopted right before he became violent. “That’s close enough Casanova, cool it.”
Kaworu blinked confusedly for a few moments before his affable smile returned. “I see, my apologies.”
Shinji shuddered from head to toe. “Okay nope. I’m out.” He took Rei’s hand and began walking, Rei was at first dragged smoothly as her shoes did not find proper purchase on the floor before she started walking after her lover without complaint.
“Wait!” Hikari called out, running after the pair. “Rei is coming with us! We had plans!”
“Don’t care!” Shinji shouted back, moving faster and stopping his acceleration at the exact speed Rei found comfortable, which due to her short stature, was not very fast at all. “Deal with him! I’m out!”
Asuka sighed and began walking after them, waving at the new kid as an afterthought. “Come along then.”
“How very interesting.” Kaworu said, walking sedately alongside her.
=][=
“I guess rather than shopping we could go to an arcade?” Hikari sighed.
“Or we could just go shopping and make Shinji carry our bags.” Asuka offered.
“He’ll carry Rei’s bags without complaint, but can you be sure he won’t refuse to pick up ours?” Hikari asked.
Asuka opened her mouth, then closed it and tapped a finger against her chin in thought. “I’m sure we could get Rei to guilt him into it.”
Hikari shook her head. “We’d have to explain why she should guilt him into carrying the bags first. Which considering he’ll be right there…”
“You’re right.” Asuka sighed. “I guess we can go to an arcade.
“And for the last time, you can politely fuck off!” Shinji growled, stabbing his finger at Kaworu’s chest, physically pushing him back a step.
For the fifth time.
And just like the previous four times. Kaworu merely smiled serenely, Shinji shuddered from head to foot, turned his back on the albino boy, and walked away, pulling Rei with him.
And continuing his exact pattern. Kaworu walked behind him.
Asuka sighed. “He’s just as weird as Rei, but in his own way.”
“Why does he keep trying?” Hikari wondered as they continued to walk behind their friend, Shinji, and the new guy.
“Guess we’ve finally found someone as stubborn as Shinji.” Asuka answered.
Shinji walked past a store, Rei didn’t. Shinji jerked back comically when he realized his girlfriend wasn’t moving.
He looked from her, to whatever she was looking at through the glass, then let go of her hand and resolutely walked into the store.
“Wonder what that’s about.” Hikari said.
“It’s probably something dumb.” Asuka sighed.
After some time, Shinji walked out of the store holding a bag. He reached into it and pulled out…a stuffed toy that looked like Unit 00.
“Oh my god.” Hikari squealed. “That’s adorable!”
Seeing no reaction, Shinji put the toy back in the bag and pulled out a stuffed Unit 01. The Chibi little abomination was soon wrapped tightly in Rei’s arms, her chin resting on its soft stuffed head.
After a little time, they resumed walking, Hikari holding the white form of the stuffed Unit 04, while Asuka held the crimson Unit 02, its pudgy limbs splayed out adorably aggressively.
“Why did everyone get those dolls?” Kaworu asked Shinji, his pretty-boy smile at full luminescence.
“Fuck off, that’s why.” Shinji spat.
“This is starting to be painful to watch.” Hikari said at Kaworu’s latest rejection.
“Well, he’ll stop trying eventually.” Asuka sighed.
Hikari looked from the affably smiling new guy, to Asuka, and back again. “Oh, if only somebody smart, and brave, and brash, and confident could step in, and explain to him what he’s doing wrong.”
Asuka glared at her friend. “I know what you’re doing.”
Hikari smiled and tilted her head a little. “Is it working?”
“No!” Asuka grumbled, lengthening her steps to catch up to the new guy. Once she did, she grabbed him by the back of the shirt and pulled him back a little before speaking. “Look, whatever you did. Apologize. Then drop the fake pretty boy act. It’s why he’s got his hackles up around you. He’s not the smartest, but he’s got a good nose for bullshit.”
Kaworu tilted his head. “But my research showed that this type of persona was ideal for fostering male-to-male friendships as well as positive relationships in general.”
Asuka scowled. “Your research?”
Kaworu nodded. “It was quite extensive.”
Asuka looked at Hikari with despair, her friend did not look amused. She sighed and turned back to Kaworu. “Goddammit. Look, just…just drop the pretty boy act. In fact, don’t try a different act or anything else like that. He’ll just react worse. He accepted Rei of all people, and she’s about as natural as a platypus.”
“There is no evidence of genetic engineering or other such manipulation on the development of the platypus, all evidence points to it having evolved naturally.” Kaworu interrupted.
Asuka snapped her fingers in front of his nose. “Not important! I mean he’ll react better as soon as you stop trying to act like something you’re not. There, advise given, you’re not my problem anymore.”
Asuka fell back to Hikari.
“Well?”
Asuka shrugged. “I…I think I got it?”
“Is that a question or a statement?”
“Shush you.”
Kaworu sped up until he was very close to Shinji, all but stepping onto his heels as he walked.
Shinji turned slowly around, malice radiating off of him like heat. He turned a single gimlet eye at Kaworu, the muscles of his arms shifting beneath his skin like steel chords being put under tension. He spoke a single word laden with more meaning than most people put into entire speeches. “What.”
Kaworu, his face completely blank, said in a near-monotone. “Oh, I just find you fascinating. I got close to observe better. Please ignore me. I’ll ask if I have a question.”
Hikari slapped her palm onto her face. “You said you’d taken care of it!”
“I said I thought I took care of it!” Asuka hissed back, the both of them getting ready for impact and to shield their dolls in case they were in the splash zone.
Shinji gave Kaworu a long, piercing stare. “Whatever.” He grabbed Kaworu’s shoulder, pushed him a full arm’s length away far more gently than at any other time he’d interacted with the boy. “There.”
Shinji turned around and kept walking, Kaworu walking behind him, maintaining the exact distance he’d been allowed.
Hikari looked on, wrongfooted and flabbergasted. “What…What just happened? Asuka? What was that?”
Asuka took a deep, cleansing breath, before answering in a monotone. “You ever get the feeling that only weird people become Evangelion pilots?”
“But…But we are Evangelion pilots. Asuka.”
Asuka nodded sagely. “I think it may be rubbing off on me. Because I know I should find that weirder than I do. But I don’t.”
“Oh god. You’re right! What do we do!?” Hikari wailed with despair.
Asuka got behind her friend and pushed her forward. “We do what any competent, healthy adult does. We repress it and go on with our day.”
“I don’t think that’s healthy!”
=][=
Asuka sipped the Mexican apple-flavored soda that she could only find at the vending machines at NERV. She’d tried it because Rei loved the damn thing, and now she was rather hooked on it.
She walked past an open door, staggered to a halt, and walked back to the open door and looked in.
Inside was a fairly standard meeting room; big table, chairs, computer, projector, and a blackboard with an assortment of chalks of different colors. Shinji stood in front of the blackboard, chalk in hand, using it to draw a crude diagrams.
Seated at the table, were Kaworu, Rei, and a number of technicians Asuka could vaguely recall having seen walking around NERV facilities.
“So, you have this biggest circle, and that’s the public space.” Shinji said, continuing what was clearly a lecture that had been going for some time and pointing to the outermost circle he’d drawn in blue chalk. “Its minimum dimension on average is a 3.6-meter radius, and it extends out to whatever. This is the space where most people don’t really care to monitor who is there and what they’re doing.
“Then you have social space.” He said, pointing to a circle he’d drawn in green. “On average this space is the span between 3.6-meters and 1.2-meters extending out from a person. This is the space where people are comfortable conducting routine social interactions with recent acquaintances or complete strangers. This is the space you keep to when you’re trying to become more friendly with someone.
“Then you have personal space.” He said, pointing to a circle drawn in purple. “And this goes from 1.2-meters to .45-meters from a person. Friends and close acquaintances can freely occupy this space, in particular during informal conversation, but strangers are strictly forbidden.
“Then, you get one of the crux of the matter, this being intimate space.” Shinji said, pointing to the innermost circle he’d drawn in red. “It extends outward from a person’s body out to .45-meters in every direction. Only family, one’s lover, pets, and the absolute closest friends are allowed into this space. A mere acquaintance intruding into this space activates the amygdala and produces a fear-response. And depending on that person’s reaction to a fear response, you may end up in a physical altercation. Or it may just turn into a shouting match, or some passive-aggressive glaring.” Shinji put down the chalk and clapped his hands, a puff of chalk dust emitting from his palms. “Any questions?”
One of the technicians lifted a hand. “Why are the measurements all over the place? I can see they follow a pattern, but I can’t quite place it.”
“That’d be because the anthropologist whose research this came from was based in the US in 1960. And him, being American, used the dumb units instead of Metric to get it all figured out. The measurements he used were 1.5-feet, 4-feet, 12-feet, and 25+-feet. Which does not lend itself to pretty, whole numbers in metric.”
Kaworu raised his hand. “Is this why you reacted negatively to my getting close?”
Shinji held up a hand and moved it back and forth in a ‘so-so’ gesture. He then pointed to the purple and red rings on the board. “Part of it was that I didn’t know you, and you immediately started by encroaching on Personal and Intimate space. This came across more as an intimidation tactic, or a way to crudely attempt to assert social dominance. What you did to piss me off when we first met did not help matters.”
Rei raised her hand. “You never seemed to have that issue when I intruded on your personal and intimate space when we first met.”
Shinji nodded. “I’m a big guy, you’re tiny and adorable. Not only do you not impose much of a physical threat to me, but my entire gender literally evolved to want you in those spaces and to get in those same spaces on your end. Technically a bit sexist, but it is what it is. Other guys are competition, cute girls are a goal. That’s on average mind you, individual responses will vary.”
Asuka rubbed her temples.
The worst thing about this whole thing? She not only found herself interested, it made a certain amount of sense.
Another one of the technicians raised their hand, but Asuka never got to hear her question as the whole base rang with the Angel Attack siren.
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