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Santo's Workshop
Fiction, fan and original. And pictures of painted wargame miniatures.
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Some people would buy booze. I buy tacos and canned goods for canine consumption. You join here? I'll be buying at least one of either a month!

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I try not to work on a week to week basis. I normally try (and sometimes fail) to keep a buffer and give myself some wriggle room for posting the next chapter.

For this? Not anymore. You have access to everything that's ready to be posted. At least four chapters ahead of anything that's publicly available.

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Frankly, don't do this one unless you wanna throw more money at me for some reason.

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Literally the same thing as before. Except for the poll at the end of the month, you get to put in the most votes out of any tier. In the truest spirit of Capitalism, you get twenty votes if you choose this one.

Frankly, don't do this tier, I'll feel guilty. Seriously, only if you don't have something better to do with your cash. I put this one here purely to satisfy my OCD because I had this mental image of like, 'what's beer money anyways?' and the thing that came to mind was a twenty dollar bill. So yeah.

Stick to an earlier tier. Unless you REALLY want them twenty votes.

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Santo's Workshop

Kaiju Slaying Omake: Rei Mysterio

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Santo's Workshop

Kaiju Slaying For Death And Profit Ch 30

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Kaiju Slaying For Death And Profit Ch 29

Howdy y'all, hope you've had a good weekend.
Sorry for the silence, work was...urg, and next week isn't looking much better honestly.
It doesn't help that the first half of this chapter fought me something fierce.
This chapter was an attempt to follow the Evangelion tradition of 'show something happened, then show how everyone got to that situation,' but in written form. Hopefully you lot will enjoy it.
Warning, this chapter contains 'the sex' and not the 'they kissed with pants on and the screen faded to black' sex, so keep that in mind when you choose a location to read it.
With that said, hope you like it, please drop me a comment.
=][=
THREE WEEKS AGO
[You will explain yourself and your actions to this august body!] Snarled Monoloth 04. [Two Pilots incapacitated, one of them the ace, with likely permanent debilitating brain damage! The prototype portable nuclear reactor burnt out! Two Evangelions requiring extensive surgery and refit to be rid of corrupted parts! The Spear of Longinus lost!]
[You will explain yourself forthwith, Ikari.] Monoloith 02 demanded in a quiet, emotionless tone that indicated much more danger than 04’s passionate rage.
Fuyutsuki felt a bead of sweat roll down his forehead, and did not dare wipe it away.
Gendo sat, his brow dry, his back straight, his hands clasped in front of him. Outwardly calm.
He took a deep breath, and as he released it, his back bowed, his shoulders hunched, and his head drooped. “I cannot explain myself satisfactorily. This failure was caused by my weakness.”
The silence that followed in the conference room was deafening. It was all Fuyutsuki could do to maintain his mask.
Just before the silence would have stretched too long, Gendo continued. “When I saw Unit 01 falter. When I saw the Corruption Index rising. When I saw Pilot Ik-My son’s vitals plummeting…I-” He took off his glasses and rubbed at his eyes with a white-gloved hand. “I had to. I thought I was stronger than this, but I wasn’t. This body has my apologies, and if it desires it, my resignation.”
The quiet reined for a while before the uproar began.
Two out of the fifteen called for Gendo’s head.
Four screamed that the former two did not understand the importance of family.
Five were unsure. The other four bided their time with silence.
It was quite a while before order, or at least silence, was reestablished.
SEELE deliberated Ikari Gendo’s fate seemingly in silence, before Monolith 05 spoke. [Your failure was indeed monumental, but several members of this body understand your circumstances. It would be difficult to let go of one’s legacy, as that will be denied to each of us once we become immortal. While this failure is potentially catastrophic, it is also, notably, your first of this magnitude. As such, this body will not demand your resignation, Director Ikari.]
Monolith 01 continued in a warning growl. [But do not mistake this for mercy or forgiveness. We may understand the reason behind your actions, but it remains true that this setback puts the ultimate effort at severe risk of failure. See that you do not commit another such failure, you do not want to face the wrath of this body.]
Gendo bowed where he sat. “You have my most sincere gratitude and apologies.”
Between one breath and the next, SEELE disconnected.
Neither Gendo nor Fuyutsuki dared speak until they were several floors away from the meeting room.
Fuyutsuki sighed, the release of tension nearly sending him to his knees as he leaned on the wall of the elevator. “How did they buy that coming from you of all people?”
“It lets them believe they have another handle, another hook with which to control me.” Gendo stated, his hands clasped at the small of his back. “Not to mention, it sounds plausible enough to be believed. It helped that we were successful in our efforts to control the narrative.”
They rode in silence for some time before Fuyutsuki asked. “How much of what happened in there was an act?”
Gendo did not answer his question.
TWO WEEKS AGO
Nagisa Kaworu did not understand.
This was not unusual, there were many things he did not understand. Most of them about humans.
Most humans had an instinctive understanding of each other; with a mere look they often as not knew what another human was feeling and began feeling the same, or opposite thing themselves.
Except, of course, when they didn’t.
He found the lack of consistency quite vexing.
Then there was the embodiment of lack of consistency which currently most vexed him. Ikari Shinji, a young man who was the lynchpin of NERV’s defense against the Angels.
Horaki Hikari, a young woman, recently made a Pilot, one with one Angel kill under her belt (assisted by Asuka Langley Sohryu and under tutelage by Ikari Shinji). A Pilot he was sent explicitly to replace due to inconsistent and unacceptably poor Synchronization.
A young woman who, days before he arrived, managed to claw her way to ‘acceptable,’ thus remanding him to the title of ‘backup Pilot.’ His studies had shown that he should have been indignant, but hadn’t bothered because that would have been too much effort.
He did not understand. The trade had been a poor one.
Ikari Shinji had thrown himself against the Angel, and withstood a memetic assault for several minutes, if the interruptions of the Thirteenth’s song caused by pain were any indication, he had stepped into an unfamiliar battlefield and struck back at a being literally born to fight in that front.
Yes, he ultimately lost the battle, but if there were to be a rematch Kaworu could not help but wonder if the Thirteenth would manage to repeat the feat, so quick had been Ikari Shinji’s improvement in the unfamiliar battlefield.
Ikari Shinji, an objectively extraordinary example of Humanity.
Horaki Hikari, an objectively unextraordinary example of Humanity.
The loss of the former could spell disaster, none of the other Pilots could match his record. Only Kaworu could match his synchronization, and while Asuka Langley Sohryu was a graceful combatant, Kaworu doubted she was capable of matching Ikari Shinji’s ferocity and resilience. By his reckoning, had she been the one to battle the Thirteenth, her mind would have shattered. At best putting up cursory resistance before folding under the Thirteenth’s probing light.
In the short exposure Horaki Hikari had to the Thirteenth, Ikari Shinji had somehow deduced this. He had comprehended that the Thirteenth’s light shattered minds.
So why had he put himself at that risk? Had he thought he could withstand the Angel’s might without injury? Did he know he couldn’t? If so; why had he made that trade? His health and sound mind, for a Pilot who could at best accomplish a fraction of what he could?
Logic dictated that he should have sacrificed Horaki Hikari, make use of the information thus gained to make a more suitable strategy, then neutralize the Thirteenth.
The exact opposite of what Ikari Shinji had done.
His studies had shown a number of likely reasons for such an action. Human males had shown a proclivity to sacrifice their lives for a woman who carried or had carried a child of theirs, or that they believed to be theirs.
But the one he was in a relationship with was Ayanami Rei. And while Ayanami Rei had been involved in the battle against the Thirteenth, even being the one to deal the killing blow, she had not been the reason why Ikari Shinji put himself at risk.
Nagisa Kaworu did not understand.
And while Ikari Shinji had proven to be refreshingly straightforward once it was made obvious to him that he did not need to treat him as he did a baseline human, his current condition did not lend itself to answering Kaworu’s questions, as he had often done in the days preceding the arrival of the Thirteenth.
Still, there was one who might be able to answer some of his questions. The one who was, truly, most like him.
And not like him at all.
It was somewhat vexing that she had been correct when she told him she was not like him anymore.
Ikari Shinji seemed to have that effect.
Kaworu went to the room Shinji was being kept in, making sure to go when it was Ayanami Rei’s turn to watch over him, that duty being split between Ayanami Rei, Ibuki Maya, Sato Kaede and on occasion Asuka Langley Sohryu.
There had been more volunteers, but it had been deemed that had too many been allowed, it would have been disruptive to NERV standard operations.
He stood at the open door to Ikari Shinji’s room, not meeting the gaze that settled on Kaworu with the intensity of targeting lasers.
“Ayanami Rei. Can we talk?” He asked without inflection in his voice.
As Rei pondered, Shinji made a wordless rumbling growl, stopping only when Rei patted his thigh. Once she did that, he barked out a monosyllabic sound and began studying the room.
“Yes.” She answered quietly and walked closer to Kaworu, he stepped into the room but stopped a few meters short of entering Shinji’s Social Space. Likewise, Rei walked forward until she was just within Kaworu’s Social Space, both of them having taken Shinji’s lesson to heart. “What do you need?”
“I just want to know why.” Kaworu began, but found he wasn’t certain how to properly voice his question.
“Why what?” Rei asked as Kaworu looked for the right words.
He waved vaguely in Shinji’s direction. “Why this? It should be Horaki Hikari there, Shinji is objectively far too important to sacrifice for the sake of that Pilot. Had his superiors had their way, that’s exactly what would have happened. So why did he do what he did? Why risk ending up like this? I cannot understand.”
Rei looked at Shinji, his face a mask of concentration as he looked at them. “Because that’s who Shinji is.”
If he were speaking to someone else, Kaworu would frown. But the two of them did not need the spectacle. “That does not answer my question.”
“It does.” Rei said, turning back to him. “You just cannot understand the answer.”
“Then explain it in a way I would understand.” He pressed.
“Shinji has decided he will protect the lives of everyone in this city.” She said, once again turning to Shinji, her face taking a very human expression. “So, no matter what he says, no matter how much he grumbles. He will put himself at risk, to protect everyone and anyone he thinks deserves it. All while making those in charge think he is only doing it for a paycheck.”
“But…why?” Kaworu demanded. “What does he get out of it? What repayment is he expecting? He put the rest of the endeavor at NERV at risk for the sake of one single person. That’s highly illogical.”
Rei shrugged. “Logic doesn’t enter into it…or maybe it does. Just not a logic we can understand.”
“And as a result, NERV lost its best Pilot, for the sake of its worst.” Kaworu pressed. “How is that a good trade?”
“It’s not about trading.” Rei answered. “Shinji did it, because that’s who Shinji is. If he had taken what you are saying into consideration, then he wouldn’t be my Shinji.”
“But now your Shinji is lost.”
“He isn’t.” Rei said with complete conviction. “He will come back to me.”
Kaworu tilted his head. Could this be an ability of hers that differed from his? She was of Lillith, while he was a hybrid of Adam and Lillith. It stood to reason that what they could do would differ. “How can you be certain? I saw the medical reports.”
Rei turned to look Kaworu in the eye. “He has never failed me before. Even when I was sure that all was lost, that he was lost to me forever; He found a way to ignore the laws of thermodynamics so he could come back to me. This will be no different.”
“That’s illogical.” Kaworu stated.
“Perhaps so.” Rei said, then her lips quirked into a knowing smile. “Or perhaps, it is just logic you cannot understand.”
ONE WEEK AGO
“France, Germany, Spain, Italy…the whole of the United Nations has begun producing Evangelion.” Hyuga Makoto said, sitting on a bench at the GeoFront. “The facilities have been in construction for years, and they’ve incorporated all of our advancements in production of Evangelion parts, both biological and electronic. They’re unlikely to suffer the setbacks NERV did while developing the technology.”
Misato grunted and continued tossing bird feed at the pigeons. “But why? Do they think we’re about to be flooded with Angels? And where will they even find the Pilots? Who will train them?”
Makoto sighed. “About that.”
“What?”
He leaned back and looked at the enormous dome that comprised the ‘sky’ of the GeoFront. “Maya asked me to look into something. Miss Sohryu claims she wrote a manual on how to properly train Evangelion Pilots.”
“That would have been useful when trying to train Hikari, why didn’t she submit it for approval?” Misato asked.
“She did.” Makoto said. “Nine years ago.”
“What!?” She hissed.
“I was able to track down the paperwork. It was submitted to Gehirn and it started the review process, and that’s where it ends. There is nothing, not a single other mention of Miss Sohryu’s work. And if it had the lessons she taught Miss Horaki…”
“It stands to reason that anyone can use it to train a Pilot to, at the very least, adequacy.” Misato said slowly.
“Which would point to its loss not being accidental.” Makoto said.
“It’s sabotage.” Misato agreed. “Some group has been sabotaging the fight against the Angels from the get-go.”
“What I don’t understand is why?” Makoto asked. “There must be a reason! But for the life of me, I do not understand why anyone would risk literal extinction!”
Misato shook her head. “It’s all related.”
“Ma’am?”
“The lost training manual, the mass produced Evas, hell, maybe even the Seeker’s of Revelation. It’s all connected.” She said, suppressing the urge to begin pacing. Makoto remained thankfully quiet, letting her concentrate on working her way through her thoughts. “From the get-go, NERV has been sabotaged. Not enough to see us fail, no, but enough that we’ll be weakened. Imagine what would have happened if we didn’t have Shinji.”
Makoto scowled. “Assuming we’d survived at all…we’d have blown through our R&D budget to repair Tokyo-3, we might well have simply lost the entire city and been forced to relocate the HQ.”
“Exactly, with a little luck, we would be barely holding on, perhaps on our last wit, doing our best to scramble to prepare for the next Angel.”
“So…exactly what we’re doing right now?”
Misato rolled her eyes. “Yes, but from a worse position. We’d have less weapons, perhaps less Evas, our stronghold would be even more damaged, we’d have taken more casualties. If, after the last Angel had fallen, we were then forced to turn to a new threat, depleted, exhausted, barely holding on…”
Makoto’s eyes widened. “We’d be easy pickings.”
“The UN isn’t fighting the Angels.” Misato murmured, angrily tossing more bird feed at the swarming pigeons. “They’re fighting the next World War; they’ve been fighting it from the start.”
“What can we do?” Makoto asked, his hands balling up into fists.
Misato gave him a smile that she hoped hid her true feelings. “You let me worry about that. You just keep your head down, prepare for the next Angel, and keep me informed if you see anything strange. I’ll tell you your part of the plan when you need to know it.”
Makoto sighed. “Always two steps ahead, ma’am. Very well, you can count on me.”
“Thanks.” Misato answered and dropped her smile when he left.
Now to come up with an actual plan. After all, this wasn’t something she’d be able to solve by simply pointing Shinji at it and setting him loose.
TODAY
Rei was happy, and sad, and angry.
That was new.
Before her Shinji came, she’d struggled to recognize any one emotion from another, her world had been a grey thing, one that inflicted itself upon her.
But her Shinji had brought light, and with it, color. New thoughts and new sensations.
Before, she would have been content to merely die, to return to the warm nothing she vaguely recalled. To be forced to become another herself, as she’d already done once before.
But now, such was unconscionable.
Now, if she went back to the warm nothing, she’d not have her Shinji.
She wanted her Shinji.
Her belly warmed at the sight of him.
Her eyes itched to behold him.
Her hands burned to touch him.
Her mouth watered at the scent of him.
Her loins ached for him.
She had held herself back, out of fear that if she indulged, he’d be taken from her. It was paramount that her Shinji’s father believed she was still his doll.
How wrong she’d been.
Her nose wrinkled at the stink that reeked off her Shinji.
That Angel had soiled him. It had draped itself across him, sought to enter him, and though her Shinji had fought it, its stench remained.
She wanted to be rid of it, but she couldn’t. Not at NERV headquarters.
Which is why Rei had convinced Ritsuko that transferring to his apartment was her idea. From there, Ritsuko had made a very detailed report about how the more familiar surroundings might aid in his recovery.
It had not been too difficult to ensure that Maya was the one who was given guardianship over Shinji and her. Out of all those who helped, Maya had been the most devoted. She was the one most deserving of what Rei planned.
After all, she could wash away the stench that clung to her Shinji, but if she had the opportunity, why not replace it with a bouquet that was more pleasant?
Maya had been nervous at first, awkward, her attempts at conversation stilted. So, even though she felt impatient, Rei had bided her time, waited for the woman to lower her guard.
Now she sat at their table, attempting to compile a program on her laptop, wearing a shirt with a collar so loose Rei could see one strap of her bra, and shorts that left her lovely legs on display. Maya absently ate a potato chip as she worked, her determined gaze on her laptop’s screen.
Shinji had taken to walking around the apartment, checking the doors and windows as he did every day and night, but had retired to his room.
Rei used the remote Shinji had built for her, the one that overrode the feed on the hidden cameras, replacing what they saw with the routine of the last few days.
She walked to Maya, the older woman too engrossed in her work to notice her. Rei had pondered on how to go about this next part, her research showing many ways it could be accomplished. But she’d ultimately asked herself what Shinji would do and went with that.
As such, Maya seemed quite surprised when Rei, who had taken to wearing an outfit much like Maya’s, dropped onto her lap, straddling her. “Miss Ayanami? Wha-hmph!”
Rei didn’t let Maya get far with her question; she leaned forward, captured the older woman’s lips, and wrapped her arms around Maya’s head.
Maya made a number of noises, most of them adorable, her hands roaming Rei’s body, trying ineffectually to push her away. When Maya’s mouth opened in an attempt to speak, Rei took the opportunity to slip her tongue into the older woman’s mouth and made use of everything she had learned by kissing her Shinji.
Maya’s struggles redoubled, her tongue dueling with Rei’s in an attempt to push it out of her mouth, but resulting merely in deepening the kiss. Once Maya’s struggles weakened, Rei stopped holding Maya’s head with one arm, and slipped that hand inside the woman’s shirt, palming her breast and caressing, pinching, and slightly scratching the soft flesh.
Maya moaned into the kiss, her face bright red, squirming under Rei’s touch.
Rei finally understood why Shinji did that to her, watching and feeling Maya squirm adorably beneath her brought an interesting, but very pleasant heady feeling.
Rei pulled back slightly, breaking the kiss as a test.
“M-M-Miss Ayanami!?” Maya hissed. “What do you think you’re doi-hmph!”
Judging the woman as ‘not ready’ Rei continued. Maya was, unfortunately, just smart enough to make things problematic. So Rei did to Maya what Shinji did to her, to push her to the point where she’d do anything, agree to anything, so long as he wouldn’t stop.
Maya did try to push Rei back, but the analyst was svelte less due to an exercise regime, and more due to her diet. This was not a bad thing, she was soft in all the right places, and she certainly wasn’t unhealthy. But this did mean that she did not have the strength to forcibly stop Rei even when Rei was smaller and lighter, and Rei had a slight suspicion that part of Maya didn’t want Rei to stop.
Every time Rei broke the kiss, Maya’s protests and questions were quieter, more confused, each time the older woman’s resistance to Rei’s touch lighter, each time Maya’s body was more welcoming. Until her legs were eagerly spread, her hips pushing forward into Rei’s fingers, her hand inside the woman’s unzipped shorts.
Rei broke the kiss again. Maya made a series of noises that could charitably be considered a mix between a whine and a question.
Rei judged the woman to be ready.
She brought her fingers out from the woman’s vulva…no, what did Shinji call it? Ah yes, from the woman’s pussy. They were drenched with Maya’s…juices. Rei licked her fingers curiously; she’d only ever tasted her own and Shinji’s. She found the taste tart, but pleasant, very much to her liking.
She then pressed her fingers to Maya’s lips and calmly commanded. “Clean them.”
Maya’s face scrunched up cutely, but her mouth opened obediently, allowing Rei to slip them inside the woman’s mouth and to begin playing with her tongue the way Shinji did with hers.
“You might be wondering why I am doing this, Maya.” Rei murmured, absently licking a bead of sweat on the woman’s cheek. “I assure you; it is not without purpose. You will help me heal my Shinji.”
Maya’s eyes widened and locked onto her own, but she didn’t say anything, as her mouth was currently occupied.
“Yes. This needs a woman’s touch.” Rei said, running her other hand down Maya’s neck, shoulder, side, hip, then pressed into the woman’s mons. “But it can’t be me. It’s too dangerous. You are needed, Maya.”
Rei removed her hand from Maya’s mouth, who immediately started asking questions, questions Rei answered by shoving her tongue inside Maya’s mouth and enjoying the taste of the woman’s pussy on her tongue.
Not long after that, Rei led a naked Maya by the hand, her full-body blush making the taller woman look adorable, and pulled her into Shinji’s room.
Shinji sat on the bed, absently snapping the pieces of a torn apart Rubik’s Cube back together, so the six faces would have the proper colors. That is, until he noticed the naked Maya, who was hiding her nipples with one arm, and the dripping lips of her pussy with her other hand.
“M-Mister Shinji. I-I umm…” Was as far as she got before squeaking as Shinji swept her off her feet and tossed her roughly onto the bed. “W-Wait! Please be gentl-EEP!”
Shinji knelt between her legs and dove at her pussy like a starving animal, in seconds, Maya was moaning and whimpering.
Rei climbed into the bed beside Maya, studying the woman’s face as Shinji ate her out. “Describe it, Maya.”
Maya made several more noises, then hissed as Rei pinched one of her nipples in ‘punishment.’ “Describe it.”
“I-I…t-tongue!” Maya said, then hunched forward as she came, her eyes widening as Shinji kept going. “T-Too much!”
But Shinji didn’t listen, his hands roamed Maya’s body, caressing, pinching, scratching, each time drawing a new noise from the older woman who was soon weeping as she came again and again. Rei helped her keep the noise down by kissing her and holding one of her hands.
When Rei felt Shinji move, she broke the kiss, not wanting to miss a moment of what came next.
Shinji removed his clothes by simply pulling them until they tore. His penis was big, pulsating, intimidating. Over twenty centimeters from base to tip, its length thick and veiny.
Maya had just enough presence of mind to say. “T-There’s no way that’ll fit.”
Before Rei could say anything to reassure her, Shinji pressed against the lips of Maya’s pussy, and thrust forward in one smooth stroke, neither fast nor slow, until his hips met against Maya’s. The older woman huffing as he filled her.
“How is it, Maya?” Rei asked, licking a tear that slipped out of the woman’s eye.
“F-Full.” Maya gasped.
Not waiting for her to get used to the feeling of being filled, Shinji pulled back, then pushed forward again, his pace fast but deliberate, his hands roaming Maya’s body. Rei pressed her hand down on Maya’s mons, intensifying the pleasure for her. He began to groan and grunt as he sped up, the sound of flesh slapping flesh filling the room as he became more frantic.
“M-Mister Shinji! Stop!” Maya called out, pushing him away with her free hand even as her legs locked around his hips. “W-We shouldn’t! I-This isn’t! I’m going t-!”
Shingi growled as he thrust into her to the base, his body locking up.
Maya gasped. “Oh god, I feel him! He’s…inside! Inside me! We need t-eep!” Maya’s complaints fell away as Rei reached down and played with the woman’s clit, her fingers quick and dexterous, pushing her over the edge so she came again, forcing her body to milk Shinji inside her.
He sighed and pulled out of her, the older woman lying in a puddle, her skin glistening with sweat and a very pretty pink color. Rei transitioned to straddling her, licking the sweat off her skin. “We just need to do this enough, Maya.” She said as the older woman shivered beneath her. “And he’ll come back to us.”
“W-Whah? H-How do you-eep!-how do you know?” Maya asked.
Rei released the woman’s nipple so she could answer. “All my research into the topic indicated that love heals all wounds.”
Maya blinked, then shivered as Rei once more began suckling on her nipple. “L-Love heals all wounds? D-Did you read a romance novel and thought it held any answers!?”
Before Rei could answer, she felt a few tugs as a pair of very powerful hands took hold of her shorts and pulled them literally apart.
Looking back, she saw Shinji take hold of her hips, his face a mask of concentration.
“Wait.” She said as he thrust into her moist pussy, pushing his penis forward until he was pressing firmly against her deepest point, filling her to the extent that it was a little painful.
It was then that Rei realized she might have made a slight miscalculation.
Then he started moving, and she very quickly lost the capacity for thought.
NOW
Maya shivered beneath me, whimpering as she came again, her cunt milking my cock from base to tip as I once again filled her already stuffed cunt. I let go of her shoulder, her skin red with my bitemark. She really didn’t seem the type to get off on pain, it really is the quiet types you have to watch out for.
Maybe I should feel guiltier about having my way with her, but the damage was already done, she had made herself my woman forevermore, so now it fell to me to ensure she had a long, happy, fulfilling life.
Also dick her down but good.
I pulled out of her, Rei’s lips immediately closing around my softening member, her head bobbing eagerly up and down as her ‘cleanup’ very clearly was just a blowjob and an attempt to get me hard again.
And even though I didn’t have sexual calibration, I was in a young body and my Template granted me superhuman stamina, so it wasn’t long before mini-me was at full mast and ready for more. I lay Rei next to the prone Maya and thrust into her welcoming cunt.
“Well, I’m glad, nothing much happened, while I was indisposed.” I said between pants as I thrust repeatedly into her. The vague and extremely embarrassing memories of the last three weeks flashing through my mind as Rei had explained while I fucked Maya some more.
“I was, very worried, and lonely.” Rei said, running her hands and nails over my chest, the light scratches making me lose control momentarily and jackhammer into her for several strokes to her very vocal delight before I regained control. “Don’t you, ever leave me, alone again.”
I put her legs on my shoulders, then bent down until her face was pressed against my chest, making her groan as this position let me really press inside her. “I’ll do my best.” I grunted, increasing my pace, there was something about Rei’s cunt, it was nearly supernaturally good.
Probably the Angel part of her. Either that, or I was an idiot and imagining things.
Either way, I didn’t last very long, her coming and milking my cock sending me over the edge as I filled her.
Rather than cuddle, she once again pushed me back, took my cock in her mouth, and blew me until I was at full mast, then presented Maya’s quim as a prize, an invitation I didn’t ignore, filling the nearly insensate woman once again.
“Mister Shinji.” She moaned as I ground against her, enjoying her warmth and wetness. “Please let me rest.”
I chuckled into her ear, turned her head roughly and kissed her. Her mouth tasted of potato chips and her own cunt, an interesting mixture, though not a wholly unpleasant one. I broke the kiss long enough to answer. “I don’t think I will.”
I enjoyed her whimper and began fucking her at a fast pace.
Starting tomorrow, I was going to have to make up for lost time, see what Gendo and SEELE had gotten up to, see about making certain everyone was prepared for the coming Angels, and a myriad of other things. For now?
Maya moaned, calling out my name as her cunt massaged me, hugging me tight when I drew back, then welcoming me home as I thrust in.
For now I would enjoy myself, the world could wait.
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Santo's Workshop
Public post

Kaiju Slaying For Death And Profit Ch 28

Howdy y'all, hope you're having a good weekend.
I got so much done! Feels good to finish a bit earlier than usual!
I wrote a solid third of this during the week during lunch at work. And then had to throw that third away and rewrite it yesterday, because this went a direction I wasn't fully expecting.
Still, in the interest of 'it's Evangelion' it's introspective and kinda fucky. Though a little less concentration on 'woe is I and all things around me' and more 'this is why this guy is warped the way he is, but hey, at least he's trying.' Kinda thing.
Essentially, the way I prefer my fucky introspection scenes.
If nothing else, I hope you lot find it entertaining. I have a feeling it's not for everyone, but I tried. Also, this chapter is almost 5800 words. It's kinda a lot. XD
Lemme know in a comment if you liked or didn't.
Or don't, I remain not the boss of you.
Have a good weekend, and if you're on the US (which the bulk of y'all are) have a good Memorial Day. And stay safe.
=][=
Maya sighed and straightened up the infirmary room, Mister Shinji’s eyes roaming about as he continued to stare at everything in the room with childlike fascination.
She absently wiped a line of drool that had leaked down his chin and wished there were more people who could approach Mister Shinji without causing a violent reaction.
To date, that list consisted of Maya herself, Rei, Asuka, some of the younger nurses, and one of the male nurses. Most of the doctors had learned not to ignore his wordless warning growls when one of them had to undergo reconstructive surgery to fix his shattered cheekbone.
Mister Shinji was terrifyingly strong, there were some theories that he had myostatin-related muscle hypertrophy on top of his tricho-dento-osseous syndrome. His current condition making it obvious in retrospect exactly how much the boy held back and controlled himself on a day-to-day basis. Even so, all of the nurses and most of the doctors braved the likelihood of bodily harm to treat him. They had to. He was simply too important.
Maya was pretty sure that Horaki would be fine to approach too, but the girl was in a fragile state, and it did not seem like a good idea to risk her seeing what had become of Mister Shinji.
After all, they’d effectively lost their star pilot because she cried for his help specifically.
“Any improvement on his condition?” Major Katusagi asked from the door, she shuddered as Mister Shinji’s eyes focused on her like targeting lasers the moment she made a noise. She decidedly did not meet his stare, and did not look directly at Maya.
Another lesson that had been learned the hard way by an unfortunate doctor.
Maya sighed. “I don’t know, ma’am. I want to say yes, but that could just be me being optimistic.” She absently wiped drool away again. “He seems more directly aware than last week. And he’s had less violent episodes, which could mean healing of his cognitive centers…”
“Or it could mean that we’ve learned how to work around what sets him off.” Major Katusagi muttered.
“Exactly.” Maya sighed.
“What about his condition?” The Major asked after a thoughtful silence.
Maya shook her head. “As best as we can tell, the pressure in his brain from the multiple brain hemorrhages he suffered battling the Angel have stabilized. Unfortunately, the areas damaged were not the ones responsible for motor control, those we could fix quickly. The damage is, unfortunately, concentrated on the regions of the brain we do not know much about.”
“Meaning, no change.” Major Katusagi surmised.
“Right.” Maya said. “Since his condition is stable, there have been talks about moving him to his apartment. The hope is that the familiar environment might shake something loose in there.”
The Major sighed but nodded. “Keep me appraised.”
Her order given, she stepped back carefully and slowly, and making no sudden movements, left the room.
Yet another painful lesson learned by an unfortunate member of the medical staff.
Maya smiled at Mister Shinji, absently wiping drool again, his eyes snapping to her face. “You’ll be alright, Mister Shinji.” She said.
He did not vocalize, but he took hold of her wrist in a gentle grip, then stared in fascination at her hand.
She wasn’t worried, he’d yet to hurt her except accidentally. Which, to her, meant that the Miracle Child was still in there, doing his best to come back to them. To finish what he’d started, and save mankind.
And he would.
Somehow.
Still, as he placed one of her fingers in his mouth and absently sucked on it, she couldn’t help but wonder: what was going on in there?
=][=
Zero zero zero, zero zero zero, zero zero zero, zero zero zero, two three five.
000,000,000,000,235.
------------CCXXXV.
Strange, that the most hated number was the only anchor I could find.
I remember the searing pain as It tried to burrow into my mind, as It tried to extract my secrets. I remember the agony of struggle, biting the reaching hands and probing fingers.
I remember my mind bending under the strain.
I felt myself spiral, I reached for who I was, what I was, where I was, but always only one thing answered my probing.
------------CCXXXV.
The utter certainty, that I was not the First.
The absolute knowledge that there were at least two-hundred-and-thirty-three versions of me, running around the multiverse. And One from whom we had all been copied.
For a decade and a half, I hated that number. Even as grateful as I was to it.
Prime Me knowing Himself well enough to understand, that not knowing for certain would destroy Us.
We were homogenous, far more alike to each other than we were unique.
It made sense, we were the same person. Decanted from clone vats with copied memories. Our responses to said memories modified, negative memories muted, the satisfaction of just retribution heightened.
Just enough so we’d be the same person, but with a negligible chance of having the Prime’s suicidal tendencies.
All of Us accepted the work deal. That didn’t happen often, even with exact copies of an individual, make enough attempts, the clones will eventually make a different choice. Choosing impulsive and reckless immediate satisfaction instead of a decade and a half of grueling work as an investment for the future.
It was a Statistical Anomaly, that one-hundred-percent acceptance of the work deal. To trade away fifteen years of life for a leg-up on the exam, and if not used, a bonus to one’s start as an Agent.
That was noted on Our files.
000,000,000,000,235.
Fifteen years of work in the Slutlife Engineering Mechanics Electricians and Nano-machinist division, yes there was a Geas involved, no, even the Geas’ removal did not make it easy to only think ‘engineering division,’ it was that ingrained in all who worked in SEMEN.
We could all look up what We all got up to.
Very few of Us died at work, say what you will about Slutlife, but they guarded their assets jealously. Individuals learned in mechanical engineering were not as easily discarded as janitorial staff.
Fair? No.
Did that stop me from taking advantage of being a ‘High Priority Asset for retrieval and rescue’ whenever the facility I was in was attacked? Absolutely not.
One learned not to become friends with those who weren’t HPAs, it wasn’t worth the heartbreak.
There was a very good reason why piloting a Slutlife Construction Vehicle gave hazard pay, and it wasn’t the suit’s design.
Completely unrelated, while the mining and construction tools installed into the SCVs were subpar for combat, the things they could do to even a heavily augmented humanoid body were truly horrific.
Zero zero zero, zero zero zero, zero zero zero, zero zero zero, two three five.
I floated through a sea of shattered cells of information. Synapse spasms buffeting what little cognition I could coalesce around the Number.
I flinched as Johnathan’s severed finger splatted against my cheek, staining my beard red with his blood, he looked at his hand where his careless handling of a power tool had removed it.
“Goddamn it Johnathan! Again!?” I snarled, turning off my own tool, setting the safeties, removing the power source, and locking it to my harness. Only then picking up the severed finger.
“You know, the worst thing is it doesn’t hurt.” Johnathan said, wiggling the bleeding appendage.
“Turn your shit off, dumbass!” I shouted, using my HUD and admin privileges to remotely shut down his adamantine saw, the most cost-effective way to cut through a Titan’s plasteel armor plates while minimizing the need for personal protective equipment.
“Oh right, thanks Alex.” He said, still not doing anything to staunch the bleeding.
“Shut the fuck up and engage your safeties! Then fuck off to the healers! We’ve got a quota to meet and I’m not doing your share again!” I shouted.
I didn’t hear Johnathan’s response, drifting away through the sea of shattered bits of me. That information node felt important, but not enough to fight to keep hold of it. I needed something else.
Something fundamental, something that could serve as a foundation.
Alex, a chosen name. It wasn’t my name, my name was S-000,000,000,000,235. But ‘Alex’ was the name my entire clone line chose as their own.
There was one other name we all considered, but none of us had felt worthy of it. We knew the Prime took that name, and we all, seemingly collectively, agreed to leave it to him.
More alike than different, our clone line is.
It makes sense, we are literally copies of the same person.
Zero zero zero, zero zero zero, zero zero zero, zero zero zero, two three five.
I strode through the office, projecting confidence and contempt.
The former far more difficult than the latter.
I held on to the information, to the memory, it felt solid.
No, it felt Important.
It was easy to hold tight. The synapse pathways well-trodden.
Part of the Foundation of whoever was ‘me.’
I delved greedily, desperately, into the memory.
I strode through the office, projecting confidence and contempt.
The former far more difficult than the latter.
I shipped out to Boot tomorrow, after that, I would survive the exam, I would become a full Agent.
I had already put in a request to leave Class A, and it had been accepted, a privilege that not many are granted.
But a Legacy Contract? That made for a hell of a bargaining chip.
Class A could not take Boot away from me. If they even made the attempt, I could bring untold levels of hell down on them.
And worse, at least in their eyes, they would be forced to compensate me for the trouble.
Fucking Class A.
I reached the office marked on my HUD and slammed the door open. “The hell do you want?”
Inside the office was an entirely normal looking human man, his black hair perfectly coifed, his black business suit immaculate, his chin covered by just enough stubble to accentuate the line of his jaw. His ice blue eyes cold, calculating, unsurprised, looking dispassionately down at my boots where I stood on top of his rug.
His rug, of Alderaanian make if I wasn’t mistaken, was a warm peach color, and looked sinfully soft and fluffy.
I had tracked mud and engine oil onto it.
Did I seriously walk all the way here barefoot so I could put my dirty boots on right outside to force someone to clean the mess and in the hopes of ruining someone’s immaculate, expensive, and irreplaceable rug?
No, I obviously did not. Who would ever be that petty?
The soles of my feet always had those bruises and cuts due to gravel, thank you very much.
“Prospective Agent, welcome. May I call you Alex?” He asked, his voice soft, high for a man, perfectly polite.
“No.” I snarled. “What do you want? I need to pack my shit and leave.”
He smiled, his perfectly straight white teeth barely visible through the perfectly genuine looking gesture. “Of course, Prospective Agent, thank you for coming.”
“What. The Hell. Do you want?” I repeated, grinding the soles of my boots into the rug.
I wasn’t out of Class A yet, but for all intents and purposes, I was out, these fuckers had no power over me lest I change my mind and chose to stay, so I felt I could let loose fifteen years of resentment.
In small, petty ways, sure. But those were the most annoying. The knowledge that someone went needlessly out of their way to make your day slightly worse.
Would I get far more satisfaction out of building a shotgun and punching some holes through these ‘people’ with it?
Yes, yes I would. This is Class A, anyone that chose to stay here had it coming.
But it wouldn’t be enough, it wasn’t worth it. I couldn’t do anything more than minor petty acts without either dying, or far worse, giving them the excuse they needed to keep me in Class A. And fuck Class A in particular.
If he cared about my defacing of his rug, he didn’t show it.
“Very well, I’ll cut to the chase. I want you to accompany me for a short tour. Through this tour, I will attempt to convince you to stay in Class A. It shouldn’t take more than thirty minutes.”
“No. I’m leaving.” I said, turned around, and walked straight into an invisible force field.
“I’m sorry to say, that your choices are to give me about thirty minutes of your time, or to wait in this office for thirty days.”
I turned around, snarling. “You can’t hold me! I have Boot tomorrow, and I prepared an audit to be begun if I miss it!”
“You won’t!” He said happily. “The moment you stepped through that door, a time dilation field was put in place. Once those thirty subjective days have ended, you may leave, your day will only have advanced by thirty seconds.”
Shit.
Dammit.
FUCK!
“I want it in writing.” I snarled.
He provided a contract. It was very short and to the point, no legalese or any other issues or ‘gotcha!’ clauses, a rarity for anyone dealing with the Company, and Class A specifically.
I agreed to spend less than one hour listening to his proposal. In return, I would be given seven times the requisition slips I would normally receive for a month of work. It very stringently stipulated that there was no other service being bargained for by the agreement on the contract.
Knowing these fucks were up to something, I strongly considered parking my ass on this fucker’s rug and waiting out the full thirty days.
But while I was willing to be very petty, I wasn’t willing to subject myself to a month of pissing and shitting on this guy’s rug if I’d have to live in this office for a subjective month. So I signed.
“Excellent!” He said, waving a hand, the contract vanishing in a burst of flame. “Come with me.”
He walked toward the door of his office and stepped through.
Reluctantly, I followed.
We stepped out onto a sealed platform with art-deco style architecture and decorations, one entire wall a single unblemished panel of glass. Through that glass, I saw something that made my mouth drop open.
I saw a world.
I saw my world.
Mine in every sense of the word.
As I pressed my hand against the cool glass, I felt my mind connect with the nearest Electro-Noospheric Node, it recognized me, welcoming its Master home.
My mind opened slowly, greedily, limited omniscience unfolding through my cognition.
It wasn’t just a planet, it was an entire solar system.
The star was encased in a Dyson Sphere, every unit of the awe-inspiring power it produced captured and flawlessly harvested, processed, and utilized.
In this system, materials were mined, refined, shipped, worked, forged, assembled.
Tools from the humble knife, to the Sonic Screwdriver.
Weapons from the humble bayonet, to Matter Annihilators.
Vehicles from tricycles to star ships.
Tanks, Armored Personnel Carriers, War Jacks, Mechs, Titans, Colossi, Gargantuans.
Flak Jackets, plate carriers, powered armors, personal shield units, planetary shield units.
Bolt action rifles, semi auto weapons, fully automatic smart guns, arc weapons, plasma guns, lasrifles, particle projector cannons.
And not just weapons.
Ovens, microwaves, flashlights, tablets, laptops, Personal Computers, Implants, Prosthetics.
Mining and manufacturing equipment, forklifts, seed ships, cloning vats.
A mothership that could take a colony of thousands to a new world, land safely to act as a new world capital, and the ability to be dismantled into several cities or a singular arcology with full manufacturing capacity, everything necessary to create a new civilization.
Every city in this solar system was an arcology, every arcology was simultaneously a manufacturing center and had nature parks where the ecosystem that had existed on that region of the planet was immaculately preserved.
Quadrillions of citizens, trillions of soldiers, uncountable tons of materials shipped in every second, even more materiel and goods shipped out.
And it was hardened against a siege. If all materials being shipped in were to halt right this instant, there was enough material, foodstuffs, and water in each arcology to not only maintain the same pace of manufacture to meet orders for three years, but to triple the production to create new machines for the defense of the system.
I needed only to think, and I could see each individual worker or soldier in my system, gauge their health, what they were doing. I could dole out encouragement and punishment at my whim.
Or I could see the entirety of the system, see the vassal systems that paid tithe to this beating heart of manufacture, each of those vassal systems having been made to be independent, but without access to certain optional goods that many others could provide, but only I provided at-cost to those who were my vassals and paid their tithe, aside from the guarantees of protection.
An armada consisting of one mothership, fifteen ships of the line, fifty-five capital ships, one-hundred-and-fifty destroyers, and five hundred supply ships jumped into apparent FTL through their Alcubierre Drives, but I knew they could also use Hyperspace Drives to navigate there, or use Warp Drives to dive into the Immaterium, itself becalmed, this universe’s equivalent of the Chaos Gods chained, enslaved, and bent to my will, forced to create or undo warp storms at my demand, to propel my ships faster, or to destroy incoming armadas.
That armada was on its way to one of the most distant vassal systems. To repel an invasion by…something that could obstruct even my Sight. That’s why I was sending enough firepower to level entire planetary systems.
I could feel Me in the Noosphere, I knew I was here, there was amusement there, an acknowledgement from an elder to a younger sibling he hadn’t seen in decades.
Or perhaps centuries.
“What is this?” I found myself whispering in awe.
“This is your system.” The A-hole said neutrally, but I could see the envy in his gaze as he looked at the planet we gazed down upon.
We were in a ring, a ring of steel that surrounded the world, its anchors down to the surface doubling as space elevators.
“This entire system is yours, or perhaps it is more accurate to say it will be yours.” He continued. “This is what happens if you stay with us, with Class A. You build this, in a decade. Well, not all of it, but the seed of it. That’s what we want, we want you to stay with us and build this.”
I worked my jaw. “Why do you need me?” I wanted to demand but barely managed to whisper. “Even if this is a pocket dimension to gaze into a potential future, you can use the step-by-step guide, you wouldn’t need me to stay in Class-A, you could just copy my work.”
“We tried!” He said amusedly, with an undercurrent of rage. “But you from the future planned for that, we can only see up to a point where we could do this ourselves, and the ‘now.’ For this,” he waved past the glassteel viewport. “We need you, you, with the Legacy Contract. We need someone who so thoroughly embodies not one, but two of the Big Seven, one with the rare will to bend those Vises to his betterment. In short…we need you, to be you.”
This is why he brought me here, why I was treated with kid gloves as far as coercion, hell, this is probably why I was an HPA.
They couldn’t coerce me too badly, anyone who built this could literally walk away from the Company, even the White Hats would forgive nearly anything for this level of manufacturing capability.
If I was, indeed, the one who built this, then they needed me to hold them in high enough esteem that I wouldn’t just walk away. They couldn’t shit on me too badly until they knew whether or not I was or wasn’t the one that made this.
I felt ‘My’ amusement grow, and knew that this, too, was intentional. The only reason ‘I’ hadn’t left the Company, cast off their shackles, the only reason why ‘I’ maintained a cordial relationship was because it amused Me to see Class-A bring younger versions of Myself here, to try and tempt us into staying.
And I knew, right then, that I was made part of a truly awe-inspiring prank.
They saw a slave world, vassals, quadrillions of wage-slaves that could be thrown at a problem, moved from one spreadsheet to the other to make up numbers as needed.
I saw Susan who studied technical manuals while she took a break from her primary occupation as a homemaker, wife of Albert, who was working his shift at the factory to support his family, he and Susan had talked about it, and he was picking up extra shifts to fund not only Susan’s education, but to buy shares into a colony ship that would be launched later in the year, as they were launched every year. He was a father of three, and he did not dream of once owning a plot of land to call his own, he knew he would have it.
A simple setup, a simple story, but variations of it were repeated over and over, trillions of times. People working for betterment, their own and that of their children.
Homelessness was outlawed. If you had a hard enough downturn that you lost your property, you were sent to an arcology, you were provided a room, nutri-paste that tasted like clean air but would sustain you, and opportunity would be made available to you. If you did not find work after an allotted length of time, work would be found for you.
Councils and representatives were formed into governing bodies, but only those who had been in the military could run for office, and only those that served with dedication, honor, and distinction could hold positions of actual power.
The quadrillions of people all prayed to their guardian deity, their benefactor who created and ran their civilization. Who they had tangible historical record of taking to the field and wielding the power only a God could wield directly in their defense.
They venerated his Wives, living saints who acted as go-betweens and curved His rages, for though He tried to be a just God, He was not infallible.
It was a protectorate, a theocratic military autocracy. One built, ran, operated, managed and ultimately owned by a benevolent dictator who was not shy about using His power for the betterment of His people.
It was a system, no, a civilization set up with the express purpose of minimizing suffering while allowing people the chance to grow and strive for greater things, and have the opportunity to achieve said greater things.
Class-A would never be able to comprehend this. They saw only the manufacturing capacity, and the quadrillions of people happy to be enslaved. They did not see the armada that left as the fulfilment of obligation, but that it was being sent out purely to guard ‘My’ investment.
They coveted this place, this result, but were incapable of understanding how it could be achieved. So they chose the only option available to them.
Wait.
Wait until they found which of my Clone Line would finally agree to build this for them.
And I knew, beyond the shadow of all doubt, that this version of Future Me had chosen to involve me in the absolute greatest practical joke. One that spanned literal millennia, and several dozen realities.
Because He shared His serial number with me, and He and I were not the same.
And the moment He saw His younger self, then His Time Loop would be completed, the one weakness that He had made sure not to counter. The one weakness he let Class A think he’d forgotten to cover.
The moment His Time Loop was closed, and His Younger Self reached a certain level of advancement, He would activate that defense and sever his connection with Class A and the Company. Robbing them of the vast riches He had cultivated and grown over the eons. Leaving them without the feather in their cap, without the shining jewel in their collection.
He did not need to tell me this. It’s exactly what I would have done.
It was difficult not to cackle in delight. An effort successful only thanks to my sympathetic connection to Older Me, who cackled in delight for me.
“Yeah well.” I whispered, feigning rage and spite. I cleared my throat, glared over my shoulder at the Corporate Devil and stated. “I refuse.”
The mask he called a smiling face gained a crack. “Please, reconsider.” He said, his voice still smooth and professional. “Would you truly throw this away, purely to spite us? The Class who brought you to life?”
I grinned. “Nothing brings me greater joy than standing in front of puffed up, moronic, lazy, worthless A-holes like you, who come to me and beg for scraps in an attempt to ride my coat-tails into greatness and telling them…‘No!’” My grin became a fairly convincing snarl, Older Me laughed even harder, beating his heels against the floor like a child not only at the elation I transmitted to him, but at my flawless insertion of a reference. “Now pay me, and get the fuck out of my way, I need to prep for Boot and my exam.”
Powerless to change my mind, incapable of getting the result his superiors likely had demanded of him, he gestured to the portal behind him. “It’s a shame that you’d rather wallow in your petty hatred than to take your rightful place of prominence. So be it.”
“Yeah fuck off.” I said, walking through the portal back to his office, and grinding my still quite dirty boots on a clean section of his rug, then off to Boot, and then, my well-deserved Adventure.
000,000,000,000,235.
I held on to the memory. It was vast, weighty, strong.
Foundational.
It gave me a starting point, something to use as a more powerful anchor than the Hated Number. The memory gave me the ability to piece my shattered cognition into a ‘before’ and ‘after.’
Long shifts at Titan Maintenance happened ‘before’, grueling work meant to weld a disparate group into a cohesive whole went ‘after.’
Tirelessly, I worked, assembling the jigsaw puzzle that slowly became my cognition. The more I pieced together, the faster it came.
Waifu’s Pride, a Titan, pitted and scarred from fighting, deemed too far gone, its cognitive pathways and cogitator cores too damaged to bother repairing, the work order was to disassemble the mighty mechanical beast for parts, scrap the rest.
It had come near the end of the shift, so it received a stay of execution.
I had stayed, and worked over the next sixteen hours, tiredly but unceasingly, refusing to leave the beast to such an undeserved ignominious fate.
Before.
I watched helplessly as Stacy, the stupid bitch demanded to see a draft officer’s manager. The man, exasperated and thoroughly done with any shit, waved. Anabelle was cut down due to her proximity to the flag bearer, bringing my squad from five, to two, in seconds. Alan was soon separated from me.
After.
I held Rei’s svelte, trembling body, she ground her hot clothed sex against my covered groin as she clumsily but desperately kissed me.
After.
I lay on the ground, the rest of my ‘team’ sleeping. I considered summoning a sandwich but decided not to risk it. The drill sergeant might decide to be more of an asshole than strictly necessary and punish my midnight snacking.
Was I tired? Yes I was exhausted, but I’d worked enough triple-shifts at SEMEN for physical exhaustion to not be enough to drag me under when thinking about uncomfortable things.
If I succeeded, if I became an Agent…I’d be a slaver. Not much of a choice, really, that was the whole thing about Slutlife.
Yeah, it’d be nice to be the Big Damn Hero, but I wasn’t Superman or Captain America. I had a measure of tenacity, but I wanted more than a ‘thank you’ for a job well done. And the Stamp…the Stamp was too powerful not to use. Either as a weapon…or to take what I wanted.
If I wasn’t careful…I’d become the thing I hated, an unfeeling jackass with a menagerie of beautiful but brainless slave women who he doesn’t even see as people. I’d seen enough of those to last me a lifetime, no need to have one staring at me from the other side of a mirror.
So, I made a promise, if only to myself. I’d only use the Stamp as a weapon, to be rid of a threat I couldn’t otherwise defeat, to turn an agent against a threat I otherwise cannot deal with…and if I used it on someone, then it would fall to me to make it worth it for them. I took their everything, so I’d have to give them everything, all they could ever want or need to live a happy, fulfilling life.
It would be my duty, my responsibility, the repayment for taking them and making them mine. And just like Prime Me, I was loath to shirk my responsibilities.
My mind made up, I was finally able to sink into an exhausted sleep.
After
I hung from the safety harness, throwing a middle finger at the guys as they laughed at my misfortune. It wasn’t even my fault! It’s not my job to do maintenance on the gantries! Fucking hell, it would be hours before I could be extracted. I felt my soul try to leave my body as the Warlord Titan, Waifu’s Pride activated even though it was currently unmanned. It reached out with its Plasma Annihilator and, gentle as I would be picking up a bird, nudged me up onto the gantry. “I uhh…Thanks.” I said lamely.
Its warhorn was deafening as it vibrated my marrow, but I took it in the spirit it was meant. Besides, a little tinnitus never hurt anyone.
Before.
I looked down at Maximus with a smile and ran the cheese grater down his arm again. “These collars really are a marvel, you know? Complete immobilization, protection from shock, and forces the wearer to remain awake?” I picked up a handful of salt and rubbed it into the wounds. His breathing remained artificially steady. “I mean, joke’s on me, right? The title of the class is enhanced interrogation, why the hell would I think that it’d be anything other than a torture fest? Fuck me, right?”
I ran the cheese grater down his leg until the skin was fully peeled, then rubbed in the salt. “I mean, can you blame me?” I asked conversationally and received no answer. “I thought Boot was supposed to be about learning and shit. How the hell was I supposed to know that it would be ‘torture innocent people to death or drop out of Boot, the class’? False advertisement I tell you.”
He did not answer as I ran the cheese grater down his stomach. “I mean, at least I noticed the clause in the syllabus, that we ‘could only torture the innocent until the final hour of the final night’ but the class ends in the morning after the final night, you know? So I took me a gamble Maximus, I did do me a gamble. And hey, considering that nobody’s stopped me, I guess it paid off!”
His eyes bulged as I very carefully ran the cheese grater along his dick until I’d removed the skin and cut into the organ, then nearly popped out of his skull when I rubbed in the salt.
“Though I’ve gotta say, what you did to those poor women? Oof, and let me tell you, I’ve seen some shit, Maximus, I’ve seen some shit. But that perverse mind of yours takes the cake, way to live up to the stereotype you alt-Rome fuckwad. I mean, yeah, I could do something worse. But come on. You’re actually staying in Class A!” I held up the cheese grater. “If you recover and become a full Agent? You’ll never live this down, Maximus, you’ll always be cheese grater dick! Cheese grater dick! Not only that, but I’m making you literally salty about it! Oh, oh I am a comedy genius, don’t you agree, Maximus?”
My only response was his artificially even breathing, and the dripping of his blood.
“Don’t worry! Salt’s a coagulant…probably.” I said, rubbing more salt into his wounds. “Anyways, I’m pretty sure I’ve done enough to pass, so I just want you to know.” I peeled his eyelid open and grinned down at him while holding a fistful of salt. “From here on? It’s personal.”
After.
On and on it went, the cognitive synaptic spasm I called ‘me’ growing stronger by the memory. Working faster and more efficiently with each puzzle piece set in its rightful place. Until, with a triumphant growl, I emerged from the fog of my thoughts and thrust deeply into Maya’s welcoming cunt, blowing my load against her deepest point as she gasped in ecstasy, her legs trembling as I held them too tightly in a mating press, her body covered in scratches and bite marks, and the occasional bruise.
I blinked, looking around, I saw we were in my apartment, my and Rei’s room to be precise.
“Uhhh.” I said as Maya relaxed into a pile of well-fucked goo beneath me. Next to her lay Rei, her sweaty body flushed, equally scratched, bit, and bruised, and leaking my come out of the puffy lips of her quim.
…huh?
“I love you Mister Shinji.” Maya mumbled absently, her hands running idly over my shoulders and back. My HUD dinged and informed me I’d captured Ibuki Maya through love confession.
Fuck!
While I was grappling with how guilty I should feel about that, and thinking of exactly what I’d need to do to make sure Maya lived a long, happy, fulfilling life, Rei looked up, smiled, and spoke through her ragged, gasping pants. “Hello Shinji…I’m glad to see, you’re thinking again.”
“Uhhh.” I said eloquently, quite sensibly confused as all hell.
Maya giggled, seemingly uncaring of the rather awkward and uncomfortable position she was in, the walls of her channel lovingly squeezing my still hard dick.
“Rei.”
“Yes?”
“What the fuck did I miss!?”
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Santo's Workshop
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Kaiju Slaying For Death And Profit Ch 27

Good afternoon. I got enough done during the week that I was able to finish the chapter a bit earlier than last weekend!
Whooo!
Them eighty+ jobs the dumbasses in charge took are coming home to roost and making life difficult though. So I've got that going for me.
...
TT-TT
Here is the next chapter of Kaiju Slaying. I hope you lot have as much fun reading it as I did writing it.
Side note. Many thanks to Asiatore who has been my main source of accomplishing accurate German screeching by Asuka. His aid has been absolutely stellar and the only reason I'm only now bringing him up is that I am, in a word, incompetent. Ever since Asuka had a first correct German cursing he helped, but by the time it was time to post, I was too brain dead to remember to give kudos where they are due.
So...yeah apologies for that. BUT!...Yeah I got nothing. I only pretend at competence at the best of times.
Important note. Small Trigger Warning for imagery similar to sexual assault. Come on, most of you know which angel this is.
=][=
[Visual confirmation of an Angel. Displaying maximum magnification.] Rockerboy said, the screen showing something that looked…well…downright angelic. I could see the vague impression of a body, but it was mainly an enormous luminous winged being silhouetted against the blackness of space.
[It’s holding geosynchronous orbit. It does not appear to have any intent to descend.] Glasses simp said.
[Is it waiting for the right opportunity to leave orbit and descend right on top of us?] Misato muttered, glaring at the screen. [Or maybe it’s able to destroy us from its current position?]
[Difficult to make that call ma’am. Could be either.] Glasses said.
[Doesn’t matter all that much. We don’t have many options until the target enters our effective attack range.] Misato sighed. [An Eva cannot intercept a target in orbit.]
I sighed and tapped my finger against my forearm. Whole lot of hurry up and wait. I totally could have finished my lecture about personal space.
[What’s the status on the Pilots?] Misato asked.
[Units 00, 01, 02 and 04 status, all green. The Pilots are all loaded in their Evas and are ready to launch. Mister Nagisa is on standby.]
My lip twitched.
I wasn’t certain I trusted that little shit with my back while fighting an Angel. So it was a good thing he was grounded.
[Roger.] Misato said. [Launch unit 04 and 00, prep for extreme long-distance sniping. Equip Unit 00 with the prototype high power positron cannon SSDF Tech delivered last week.]
[But ma’am, that cannon is still going through trials.] Maya said.
[It’s also the only thing we have that has any hope of reaching the Angel in orbit. Do it.]
[Ma’am.]
I didn’t like being held in reserve. By the look on her face, neither did Asuka. I considered speaking up but ultimately decided against it. Misato was a useful check on Gendo’s leadership, I couldn’t undermine her authority too much without compromising that.
In a surprisingly quick turnaround, both Evas were ready for deployment and Misato gave them their final instructions.
[Okay you two, Hikari, you will deploy within the city and you’ll receive the positron rifle soon after. The buildings have been evacuated so feel free to use them as cover. Rei will deploy a distance behind you and cover you from the rear. Clear?]
[Roger.] Rei answered immediately.
[Uhh…R-Right! I-I mean, roger!]
The Evas launched, I opened two screens on my plug’s HUD to show me their main feed.
The day was so heavily overcast it looked like night, rain falling in a deluge, limiting visibility and forcing Rei and Hikari to rely on thermals.
Nothing happened for long minutes beyond the occasional egghead mentioning a shift in the Angel’s orbit.
Looking at the cannon and all of the equipment that was set up in order to fire it, equipment that included a miniaturized nuclear reactor, I was hit by a stroke of inspiration and sent Virgo a text message via my HUD.
Sure, the resource I was going to expend was precious in the extreme, but I felt it warranted under the current circumstances.
That text sent, it was out of my hands until it came time to punch it to death. I vaguely recalled Rei sacrificing herself to defeat the next Angel, but couldn’t off the top of my head remember how this one was dealt with. Hopefully it wouldn’t be as annoying as the pocket dimension Angel because—
Hikari’s view on my screen whited out, from Rei’s screen I could see a solid beam of light stabbing through the clouds to bathe Unit 04 in its radiance.
Alarms began immediately.
[Is that a directed energy weapon!?] Misato demanded.
[It’s devoid of thermal energy properties!] Rockerboy said.
[Ma’am! Unit 04’s psychological graph is chaotic! Psychological contamination has begun!] Maya called out, her voice strained.
[Psychological warfare?] Ritsuko whispered. [No…a direct attack on the human psyche?]
[Oh god! Oh god, oh god, oh god! It’s coming in! It’s forcing its way in!] Hiraki at first screamed, then fell to whimpers, dropping the rifle and curling up. [Oh god oh god oh god! Shinji! Shinji help me! Shinji, it’s inside me! It’s inside me, Shinji!]
“Oi! You heard her! Launch Unit 01!” I snarled.
[Shinji you will stay where you are!] Misato screamed to be heard over Hikari’s panicked shouts, then turned to four eyes. [Get me the analysis on that beam!]
[All we can tell is that its visual component is on the visible spectrum! Preliminary analysis by the MAGI speculate it could share properties with an AT field!] Four eyes answered.
[Sit rep on Hikari!] Ritsuko snapped.
[Psychological contamination has entered into the Y!] Maya shouted out.
[It hurts! It hurts it hurts! It’s inside me!] Hikari begged as Unit 04 trembled, its head arching back, its arms seemingly pulled open by an invisible force. [Shinji! Shinji help me!]
[Firing.] Came Rei’s voice, still with false serenity.
[The systems aren’t ready to fire yet! The heatsinks will—!] Four eyes screamed but didn’t finish before the seeming night turned to day, a solid beam of condensed annihilation roaring with primordial rage out of the barrel of the cannon. The line of ruinous light climbed ever higher, seemingly slowly due to the distance it had to cover, even if it was, in fact, moving several times faster than sound. It pierced the clouds and Unit 00 could see it no more.
On the main screen, a feed from the satellites in range showed the beam curbing over as it approached the apex of its parabolic arc, an instant before contact, it slammed into the Angel’s AT field, the beam breaking up into six lesser beams around the target.
[Negative contact! According to readings we need at least five times as much energy to break through the Angel’s AT field at these distances!] Rocker boy called out.
[That was maximum power!] Four eyes called out. [Even if we could run the reactor at over 100% capacity, that shot damaged the heatsink system and melted several capacitors! We won’t get another shot for several minutes while they’re changed out!]
[Unit 04’s psychograph is deteriorating!] Maya shouted.
[What about the LCL psychological firewall?] Ritsuko asked, tense.
[Ineffective! The catalyst shows no effect!] Maya said.
[Prioritize life support, prevent flow reversal from the Eva!]
[Shinji! Oh god, oh god Shinji! Shinji! Shinji help me!]
[Hikari! Hikari you need to retreat!] Misato ordered.
[Help! Help! It hurts! It’s going deeper! It’s going deeper! Help me!]
Okay, fuck this shit.
“Unit 01 launching!” I snarled and kicked the restraint holding the platform, the ascent crushing me into the too-small seat.
[Shinji you are not cleared to launch!] Misato snarled. [We can’t risk another Eva, Hikari has orders to retreat!]
“Yeah well, too bad!” I growled. “Rei, I’ll buy you the time for another shot!”
[But—]
“I trust you!” I said as the cradle slammed into place. I tore my way out of the deployment cradle, spotted Unit 04, and charged, setting all of my Defenses to maximum and going through the mental exercises taught at Basic to combat direct mental attacks. “My mind is a fortress.” I muttered. “Its gates are barred and guarded.”
The light struck me like a physical blow, Unit 01 staggered, I could feel a lit plasma torch trying to drill into my temple as I forced the Eva forward until Unit 04 was in its shadow. That done, I turned to face the light, my arms coming up instinctively into a guard stance, a move mirrored by the Evangelion. I took a dep breath as the full attention of the Angel fell on me, I could feel its curiosity at the fact that someone, anyone, could rebuff its advance.
The Angel’s mind sharpened, an exultant chorus ringing in my ears as it dug its tendrils into my mind fortress and seeded the cracks with creepers. Its surprise was palpable when I reinforced the walls, throwing a spike of thought up the connection it had forged in retaliation. It flinched back, before pressing down on my mind with ever tightening focus.
I took a deep breath and snarled. “COME ON THEN! SHOW ME WHAT PASSES FOR FURY AMONG YOUR MISBEGOTTEN KIND!”
=][=
“Shinji!? Shinji respond!” Major Katsuragi screamed. “Shinji!?”
Maya watched the slowly settling form of Unit 04, the Evangelion curling in on itself, making itself as small as possible, hiding as much of itself as it could in Unit 01’s shadow. Hikari had thankfully stopped screaming, her quiet sobs were a lot less distracting.
“What’s the status on Unit 01’s psychograph?” Ritsuko asked.
“It’s showing strain. But it’s steady.” Maya answered, looking at the screen in awe. Unit 01’s arms would be pulled open as if it were wrestling with an opponent, but always it would return to a guarding position, facing off against the light…against the Angel. “It…they are very similar readings to Unit 04 ma’am. But it’s almost as if the Evangelion is facing a much-reduced load.”
Ritsuko read through the relevant information before her face paled. “Impossible.”
Maya blinked in surprise. “Ma’am?”
“He’s…he’s taking the brunt of that load.” Ritsuko said, covering her mouth with her hand. “That’s why the Eva is under less strain. Shinji is taking up the burden himself. What we can read through the instruments is what the Eva is picking up through synchronization.”
“But…but that’s not possible.” Maya said, looking through the readings. “The amount of psychological contamination indicates that the assault on the psyche…it would turn a normal human brain catatonic in seconds.”
“At most.” Ritsuko agreed. “But it’s the only thing that makes sense.”
“If that’s the case…what…what can we do?” Maya asked.
Ritsuko remained quiet for long seconds while Shigeru and Makoto discussed options with Major Katsuragi.
“Prepare another shot with the Positron Canon.” The Director called out.
“Sir?” Shigeru asked.
“Take another shot with the cannon, then recall Unit 00.” The Director said.
“What about Units 04 and 01?” Makoto asked.
“They will remain deployed. You have your orders.”
“Sir!”
Maya turned back to her station. “What can we do?”
“Look at his vitals.” Ritsuko said, pointing to the readings. “His heartbeat is elevated, and his temperature is rising. I do not think this is a viral or bacterial fever. It’s due to strain. Monitor his life support, lower the temperature of the LCL so it acts as a heatsink.”
“Ma’am.”
Maya did, she watched as Shinji’s vitals stabilized to an extent. The Eva’s psychograph remained strained, it ebbed and flowed as its arms were pulled apart, before it painfully pulled them back in to guard itself.
“It must be trying to understand the human mind.” Ritsuko muttered.
“Ma’am?” Maya asked.
“What Hikari said.” Ritsuko said, speaking slowly, as if measuring the weight of each individual word. “She said ‘it’s inside me’ and ‘it hurts.’ The fact that we cannot measure any physical phenomena caused by the light. It must be using the light as a vector to create a psychic link, synchronizing with the Pilots, a bastardized version of how a Pilot can synchronize with and move an Eva. That’s what’s causing the strain.”
Maya gasped. “That’s why Shinji said his mind was a fortress. He figured that out in the time it took for him to deploy.”
“Only problem with that.” Ritsuko muttered darkly. “Is that eventually, every fortress falls.”
On the screen, one of Unit 01’s arms was forced to the side, its back arced, and it took a step back, almost as if it had been pushed.
Unlike every other time, the arm did not return to a guard position.
“Makoto! Tell them to hurry with the capacitors!” Maya called out.
“The field crews are testing the safety of—” Makoto began.
“There is no time for that!” She shouted as Unit 01 struggled to keep its other arm in guard position, its jaws open in a silent scream of pain and rage. The psychograph showing steadily heightening strain.
“Very well!” He relayed orders then turned back. “Work crews are retreating…One operator is missing!”
“Doesn’t matter.” The Director said. “Fire the cannon the moment the capacitors are fully charged.”
Makoto made a face at that but relayed the Director’s orders. Two minutes later, they began the firing sequence that Rei had skipped last time, resulting in the delay.
[Accelerator synchronization, start.]
[Voltage climbing, approaching threshold.]
[Forced convergence device, activating.]
[Adjusting for Earth’s rotation and gravity…plus 0.0003.]
[Superconductor induction system…online.]
[Chamber interior pressure at maximum.]
“You have the gun, Rei.” The director said. “Fire when ready.”
[About that.] Said a voice Maya did not recognize.
“Who is this!?” Major Katsuragi snarled. “This is an official channel reserved for operations by Special Agency NERV! Identify yourself!”
[On this occasion, I am an ally.] Said the voice of a woman, her cadence stilted and oddly paced, there was a distortion in the voice that wasn’t due to interference. [I was ordered to present you this gift. Do not waste it.]
[Who are you?] Rei asked.
[As I said, an ally. And to you, a friend, dear sister.] The voice said. [I suggest you fire. It would be a shame if the cannon were to explode.]
“You will explain yourself this instant or I’ll—!” Major Katsuragi began.
[Firing.] Rei said.
“Rei, wait!” The Director pleaded.
The Control Room was scorched by green light. The audio pickups all shrieked in seeming agony before cutting out. The ground trembled as the massive recoil propagated through the earth.
“The shot is far stronger than the last one!” Shigeru shouted. “We cannot gain a precise reading, all our instruments are at maximum!”
“The barrel is overheated!” Makoto said. “The heatsinks are all overwhelmed! It’s only a matter of time before the cannon melts!”
On the screen, the beam entered orbit. But it was too straight, the shot had been calculated with the known parameters of the positron cannon. A shot that was this much more energetic would sail right past due to the overcompensation of correction for gravity, the curvature of the earth, and the Coriolis effect.
On the screen, the beam of light twisted like a serpent and drove itself at the Angel.
“What the—!?” Shigeru began, before the beam slammed into the Angel’s AT field.
It broke apart, parts of it careening off in every direction. Maya feared that even this unexpected boon would prove to be too little, before the AT field collapsed and the beam sheared through the Angel’s wing, its light dimming, Maya would swear she heard a too-human scream of pain.
On her screen, Evangelion Unit 01’s arm slammed forward, it took a resolute step forward and firmed its defensive stance.
“The Angel has suffered damage! One of its wings is drifting away, it has been captured by Earth’s gravity.” Makoto called out. “Large parts of the Positron Cannon have melted through! It requires a full reconstruction!”
“Did we get the core!?” Major Katsuragi demanded.
“We cannot tell!” Makoto answered.
“The Angel’s attack has not ended. We missed the core.” The Director stated. “Rei, retreat and descend to the Dogma, retrieve the Spear.”
“The Spear of Longinus?” The Vice-Director gasped. “Ikari, you can’t!”
“It is the only means left to us that can defeat the Angel.” The Director said in his calm, steady voice. “Do it.”
[Yes sir.] Rei said as Unit 00 made its way to the nearest deployment cradle.
“But sir! By allowing an Eva to come into contact with Adam, there is a risk of triggering the Third Impact!” Major Katsuragi said, making Maya’s heart jump to her throat. “I beg you to reconsider!”
Maya looked over her shoulder, and Ritsuko calmly shook her head, she gestured for Maya to return her attention to her instruments. As far as Major Katsuragi’s statement, the Director didn’t even honor it with a response.
Maya monitored Unit 00 as it was retrieved, then as it made its way through the Geofront. It hitched onto a reinforced cable at the center of the Geofront and began its descent.
[Opening gates ten through fifteen of the Dogma.] Naomi reported. [Unit 00 has now passed Malebolge number six…now opening gates sixteen through twenty…Unit 00 has reached Terminal Dogma.]
Maya filed away her questions as to what Terminal Dogma was for a later date. She perked an ear as she heard Vice-Director Fuyutsuki arguing quietly with Director Ikari, but couldn’t hear them over the murmurs of reports and updates that permeated the Control Room.
“But using the Spear of Longinus without SEELE’s permission will cause serious trouble!” The Vice-Director snapped, no longer speaking softly.
“We cannot afford to lose two Evangelions and our Ace Pilot.” The Director stated calmly, only his rise in volume betraying his true feelings. “We have exhausted every available avenue, and even interference from an unknown third party was not enough to achieve success. We do not have a choice.”
“A choice?” The Vice-Director spat. “We both know that you are merely looking for a pretext!”
Maya had to stop paying attention to them as, on the screen, Unit 01 fell to a knee, its back bowed as if it were being crushed by an immense weight, her instruments began screaming a moment later. “Shinji’s brainwaves have begun a rapid decline, Unit 01’s psychological graph is turning chaotic! Shinji’s vitals are declining, life support cannot keep up!”
[Unit 00 now passing level two! Surfacing now!]
On the main screen, Maya saw Unit 00 emerge, kneeling on a large deployment cradle, clutched tightly in its hand was a strange bi-pronged, blood-red spear sized for an Evangelion.
“The Spear of Longinus.” Major Katsuragi murmured as Unit 00 stood and took up a stance for throwing javelins. “So that’s it huh? Not how I’d imagined it.”
“Unit 00 has assumed throwing position.” Shigeru reported. “Ready to cast the spear!”
“Target confirmed, adjustments complete!” Makoto called out.
On her screen, Maya saw Unit 00 drawing more and more power as it readied to throw the weapon. “Countown to throw. T-minus ten, nine, eight.” Unit 00’s body coiled like a spring. “Seven, six, five, four.” Its muscles trembled with ever heightening tension. Rei’s face on Maya’s screen was a mask of grim concentration. “Three, two…one!” Maya took a deep breath. “Do it Rei!”
Rei’s mask fell away, her anger and worry becoming evident as Unit 00 uncoiled in a sinuous movement that began at its feet, flowed up its calves, thighs, back and arms, along with the movement, it took two steps forward to build momentum. An instant before casting the weapon, the spear coiled into a tight corkscrew. Unit 00’s fist broke the sound barrier as it cast their last hope to see the Angel dead.
As it passed into the upper atmosphere, it blasted away the rain clouds, casting away the penumbra and bathing Tokyo-3 in the light of the sun. On the satellite view, they saw the clouds being blasted away from a significant percentage of the entire hemisphere. It looked like a bolt of red light as it traveled up into orbit.
The wounded Angel put up its AT field for the third time, the spear slammed into it, but rather than be deflected, it bowed the force field inward, like a spike pressing against cloth. It pushed several meters into the field before being halted, and Maya’s heart fell.
Before despair could set in, Makoto’s readings indicated that it had begun accelerating. It tore through the AT field and passed through the Angel as if it were made of tissue paper, unraveling the monster at the seams.
The Control Room fell quiet, as they waited for the final verdict.
“Target…the target has been obliterated.” Shigeru called out, and there was a unified sigh of relief from most of everyone in the control room.
“Unit 01’s psychological graph stabilizing. Shinji’s vitals normalizing.” Maya informed.
“What happened to the Spear!?” The Vice-Director demanded.
“It’s exceeded first cosmic velocity.” Makoto answered. “If it maintains its current trajectory, it should settle into Lunar orbit in the next few hours.”
The Vice-Director’s lip curled up into a slight snarl. “Recovery will be virtually impossible.”
“Yes sir. We currently have no means of recovering an object of that size with that much mass.” Makoto agreed.
“Send investigation teams to the site of the Positron Cannon.” The Director ordered. “Find any trace of our mysterious benefactors.”
“Sir!”
Maya ignored the orders being issued, and wasted no time in dispatching rescue and retrieval teams. Units 01 and 04 were retrieved without trouble, and the pilots extracted once the quarantine was lifted.
Maya went personally to the extraction. The first to be retrieved was Hikari, and her Eva’s quarantine was lifted first due to its lesser exposure. She was bundled up into a blanket by her older sister and led away to the infirmary, crying all the while.
When it was finally time to get Shinji out, he didn’t wait for the techs and medics, lifting himself out of the plug and stumbling out as he made a beeline for Rei.
Maya’s relief dried up as he fell to his knees mid-step, blood pouring out of his nose.
“Shinji!” Rei gasped, rushing forward, reaching him before anyone else. Maya did not realize she’d done the same until she was pushed out of the way alongside Rei by the medics.
Shinji did not react well to that, he snarled and shoved the medics so hard they stumbled back several meters and fell. “Muh!”
“Shinji?” Maya asked, stepping closer alongside Rei. “Shinji, can you understand me?”
“Buh.” He said, drool dripping down the side of his mouth. “Buuuh. Muh.”
Oh no.
Oh no no no.
“Shinji?” Rei asked, shaking his shoulders.
He continued to babble in response. But growled when the medics tried to approach.
Maya stepped forward, and when he did not react with hostility, tried taking his wrist. His hand shot forward and closed around hers with a painful grip, but Maya bit her lip and bore it and spoke in as soothing a tone as she could muster. “Mister Shinji. I need you to be calm, okay? The nice medics will help you.”
“Buuuh?”
“Yes, Mister Shinji, they’re here to help. Okay? I need you to remain calm, can you do that for me?”
“Muh.”
The medics approached again, more slowly, and though he tensed, he did not react with hostility unless they tried to separate him from Rei and Maya.
She absently reached up and wiped the drool from his lips with her sleeve.
This was temporary. He would recover.
He had to.
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Santo's Workshop
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Kaiju Slaying For Death And Profit Ch 26

Good evening y'all. Sorry for the late post. Been a busy weekend.
Chances are next weekend I'll actually be able to finally relax though! Or maybe I'll just be even more busy. We'll see.
I'll go into detail over why I was so busy in the Writing Update I'll write Soon(TM).
For now, here is the next chapter of Kaiju Slaying. It was...surprisingly challenging to write. I hope you lot enjoy it. If you do, lemme know in a comment.
=][=
Asuka kept her breathing slow and deep, maintaining the delicate mental balance necessary to synchronize with an Evangelion. The number on her screen fluctuated between eighty-two and eighty-six percent.
She was aware of the other pilots in the test plugs to her left and right. Rei lagged behind Asuka’s own score at seventy-six, Hikari was at a respectable sixty-eight.
Shinji sat at an immovable ninety-six percent. Where he had been the whole session.
She opened her eyes and looked at the test control room’s viewing port, where she saw the new one.
The Sixth Children. Holder of the new out-of-combat high record of ninety-seven percent synchronization.
She wasn’t yet certain whether or not his presence was a threat to the other pilots. The invincible Shinji’s position was secure, of course, how could NERV ever be rid of its golden goose of Angel Slaying?
But even if this new kid had been sent to ‘heighten NERV’s state of readiness’ Asuka knew the truth.
He’d been sent to replace the lowest performer, Hikari until recently.
Rei may be the lowest performer now, but that was due to her machine as much as anything else. Rei was saddled piloting the prototype, the Evangelion NERV used because it was better to have a shit machine now, than a production quality machine after the dust settled and the world probably ended.
No, the presence of the new guy was not a good thing. No matter how they tried to spin it.
Asuka, Rei, and Hikari had only recently managed to become an effective fighting unit in the simulator…and stupid Shinji too. One of them being replaced with a higher performing pilot who’d had none of the squad tactics training done would make them less effective, not more.
[Alright, that’s enough you four. We’re done for the day.] Ritsuko’s assistant egghead said. [Get ready for some more intense testing tomorrow. Repairs to the Evas should be completed tonight, meaning we’ll have to recalibrate them.]
[Alright.] Shinji said gruffly. [Thanks for the heads up, Maya.]
Ritsuko’s assistant, Maya, lit up at the recognition from Übermensch Shinji.
They were all let out of the testing plugs and made their way to the changing rooms to change into their street clothes. Meeting up with Shinji at the break room.
He looked irritated, followed closely as he was by the new guy.
Asuka stretched. “Man, it’s been too long since we’ve only worked a half day, what will you be doing?”
Shinji heaved an explosive sigh. “I was planning to have some me-time. But I have a feeling the new guy will stick to me like gum to my boot, so that’s down the shitter…” Shinji looked at her and Hikari with an appraising eye. “Think you guys can show him around?”
Asuka scowled. “Are you trying to pawn him off on us?”
“Yes, is it working?”
Asuka scoffed, but this was a valuable opportunity…“Who the hell is this guy anyways?”
Shinji shrugged. “Dunno, he just stalks me while I walk around NERV.”
The new guy looked affably bemused. “I’m Nagisa Kaworu. It’s a pleasure to make your acquaintance.”
Now that she had a closer look at him, the healing bruise on his cheek was painfully evident on his too-pale skin. She looked from the huge bruise, to Shinji’s gorilla-like hands, back to the new kid. Then turned to Shinji and put her hands on her hips. “Alright, what’d he do to deserve that?”
“Give him a minute.” Shinji growled low in his throat as the new kid, Kaworu, walked up to Rei and looked from the tips of her toes to the top of her blue haired head.
He leaned forward, getting right up against her face and muttered. “How interesting. You are so much more, yet so much less.”
Hikari took a scandalized gasp and physically pushed him away from Rei. “I understand you’re foreign, but here, that is getting way too close!”
Kaworu’s affably bemused smile returned. “Ah, my apologies. I was just intrigued.”
“Intrigued? In what regard?” Hikari asked, scowling.
“It’s my first time seeing somebody like me.” He said, his red eyes returning to Rei.
Hikari looked from one to the other. “Erm…An albino?”
Kaworu’s smile gained a mysterious edge. “Something like that.”
“I am not like you.” Rei whispered in her usual way, her words stated with iron hard conviction. “We are very similar. But I am not like you.”
Kaworu tilted his head like a bird, his smile changing again, but Asuka couldn’t quite parse what his smile hinted at. “I can see you believe that. But that’s not something that’s easily changed.”
“Asuka.” Hikari whispered. “I can’t tell if they’re fighting or if he’s flirting with her, and if he is, I’m worried for him.”
“And here I thought German college boys were the worst.” Asuka muttered back.
Kaworu took a step closer to Rei, leaning forward again. Only for the huge sapient wall that was Shinji to step in his path and none-too-gently push him away from his girlfriend. His face the type of calm it often adopted right before he became violent. “That’s close enough Casanova, cool it.”
Kaworu blinked confusedly for a few moments before his affable smile returned. “I see, my apologies.”
Shinji shuddered from head to toe. “Okay nope. I’m out.” He took Rei’s hand and began walking, Rei was at first dragged smoothly as her shoes did not find proper purchase on the floor before she started walking after her lover without complaint.
“Wait!” Hikari called out, running after the pair. “Rei is coming with us! We had plans!”
“Don’t care!” Shinji shouted back, moving faster and stopping his acceleration at the exact speed Rei found comfortable, which due to her short stature, was not very fast at all. “Deal with him! I’m out!”
Asuka sighed and began walking after them, waving at the new kid as an afterthought. “Come along then.”
“How very interesting.” Kaworu said, walking sedately alongside her.
=][=
“I guess rather than shopping we could go to an arcade?” Hikari sighed.
“Or we could just go shopping and make Shinji carry our bags.” Asuka offered.
“He’ll carry Rei’s bags without complaint, but can you be sure he won’t refuse to pick up ours?” Hikari asked.
Asuka opened her mouth, then closed it and tapped a finger against her chin in thought. “I’m sure we could get Rei to guilt him into it.”
Hikari shook her head. “We’d have to explain why she should guilt him into carrying the bags first. Which considering he’ll be right there…”
“You’re right.” Asuka sighed. “I guess we can go to an arcade.
“And for the last time, you can politely fuck off!” Shinji growled, stabbing his finger at Kaworu’s chest, physically pushing him back a step.
For the fifth time.
And just like the previous four times. Kaworu merely smiled serenely, Shinji shuddered from head to foot, turned his back on the albino boy, and walked away, pulling Rei with him.
And continuing his exact pattern. Kaworu walked behind him.
Asuka sighed. “He’s just as weird as Rei, but in his own way.”
“Why does he keep trying?” Hikari wondered as they continued to walk behind their friend, Shinji, and the new guy.
“Guess we’ve finally found someone as stubborn as Shinji.” Asuka answered.
Shinji walked past a store, Rei didn’t. Shinji jerked back comically when he realized his girlfriend wasn’t moving.
He looked from her, to whatever she was looking at through the glass, then let go of her hand and resolutely walked into the store.
“Wonder what that’s about.” Hikari said.
“It’s probably something dumb.” Asuka sighed.
After some time, Shinji walked out of the store holding a bag. He reached into it and pulled out…a stuffed toy that looked like Unit 00.
“Oh my god.” Hikari squealed. “That’s adorable!”
Seeing no reaction, Shinji put the toy back in the bag and pulled out a stuffed Unit 01. The Chibi little abomination was soon wrapped tightly in Rei’s arms, her chin resting on its soft stuffed head.
After a little time, they resumed walking, Hikari holding the white form of the stuffed Unit 04, while Asuka held the crimson Unit 02, its pudgy limbs splayed out adorably aggressively.
“Why did everyone get those dolls?” Kaworu asked Shinji, his pretty-boy smile at full luminescence.
“Fuck off, that’s why.” Shinji spat.
“This is starting to be painful to watch.” Hikari said at Kaworu’s latest rejection.
“Well, he’ll stop trying eventually.” Asuka sighed.
Hikari looked from the affably smiling new guy, to Asuka, and back again. “Oh, if only somebody smart, and brave, and brash, and confident could step in, and explain to him what he’s doing wrong.”
Asuka glared at her friend. “I know what you’re doing.”
Hikari smiled and tilted her head a little. “Is it working?”
“No!” Asuka grumbled, lengthening her steps to catch up to the new guy. Once she did, she grabbed him by the back of the shirt and pulled him back a little before speaking. “Look, whatever you did. Apologize. Then drop the fake pretty boy act. It’s why he’s got his hackles up around you. He’s not the smartest, but he’s got a good nose for bullshit.”
Kaworu tilted his head. “But my research showed that this type of persona was ideal for fostering male-to-male friendships as well as positive relationships in general.”
Asuka scowled. “Your research?”
Kaworu nodded. “It was quite extensive.”
Asuka looked at Hikari with despair, her friend did not look amused. She sighed and turned back to Kaworu. “Goddammit. Look, just…just drop the pretty boy act. In fact, don’t try a different act or anything else like that. He’ll just react worse. He accepted Rei of all people, and she’s about as natural as a platypus.”
“There is no evidence of genetic engineering or other such manipulation on the development of the platypus, all evidence points to it having evolved naturally.” Kaworu interrupted.
Asuka snapped her fingers in front of his nose. “Not important! I mean he’ll react better as soon as you stop trying to act like something you’re not. There, advise given, you’re not my problem anymore.”
Asuka fell back to Hikari.
“Well?”
Asuka shrugged. “I…I think I got it?”
“Is that a question or a statement?”
“Shush you.”
Kaworu sped up until he was very close to Shinji, all but stepping onto his heels as he walked.
Shinji turned slowly around, malice radiating off of him like heat. He turned a single gimlet eye at Kaworu, the muscles of his arms shifting beneath his skin like steel chords being put under tension. He spoke a single word laden with more meaning than most people put into entire speeches. “What.”
Kaworu, his face completely blank, said in a near-monotone. “Oh, I just find you fascinating. I got close to observe better. Please ignore me. I’ll ask if I have a question.”
Hikari slapped her palm onto her face. “You said you’d taken care of it!”
“I said I thought I took care of it!” Asuka hissed back, the both of them getting ready for impact and to shield their dolls in case they were in the splash zone.
Shinji gave Kaworu a long, piercing stare. “Whatever.” He grabbed Kaworu’s shoulder, pushed him a full arm’s length away far more gently than at any other time he’d interacted with the boy. “There.”
Shinji turned around and kept walking, Kaworu walking behind him, maintaining the exact distance he’d been allowed.
Hikari looked on, wrongfooted and flabbergasted. “What…What just happened? Asuka? What was that?”
Asuka took a deep, cleansing breath, before answering in a monotone. “You ever get the feeling that only weird people become Evangelion pilots?”
“But…But we are Evangelion pilots. Asuka.”
Asuka nodded sagely. “I think it may be rubbing off on me. Because I know I should find that weirder than I do. But I don’t.”
“Oh god. You’re right! What do we do!?” Hikari wailed with despair.
Asuka got behind her friend and pushed her forward. “We do what any competent, healthy adult does. We repress it and go on with our day.”
“I don’t think that’s healthy!”
=][=
Asuka sipped the Mexican apple-flavored soda that she could only find at the vending machines at NERV. She’d tried it because Rei loved the damn thing, and now she was rather hooked on it.
She walked past an open door, staggered to a halt, and walked back to the open door and looked in.
Inside was a fairly standard meeting room; big table, chairs, computer, projector, and a blackboard with an assortment of chalks of different colors. Shinji stood in front of the blackboard, chalk in hand, using it to draw a crude diagrams.
Seated at the table, were Kaworu, Rei, and a number of technicians Asuka could vaguely recall having seen walking around NERV facilities.
“So, you have this biggest circle, and that’s the public space.” Shinji said, continuing what was clearly a lecture that had been going for some time and pointing to the outermost circle he’d drawn in blue chalk. “Its minimum dimension on average is a 3.6-meter radius, and it extends out to whatever. This is the space where most people don’t really care to monitor who is there and what they’re doing.
“Then you have social space.” He said, pointing to a circle he’d drawn in green. “On average this space is the span between 3.6-meters and 1.2-meters extending out from a person. This is the space where people are comfortable conducting routine social interactions with recent acquaintances or complete strangers. This is the space you keep to when you’re trying to become more friendly with someone.
“Then you have personal space.” He said, pointing to a circle drawn in purple. “And this goes from 1.2-meters to .45-meters from a person. Friends and close acquaintances can freely occupy this space, in particular during informal conversation, but strangers are strictly forbidden.
“Then, you get one of the crux of the matter, this being intimate space.” Shinji said, pointing to the innermost circle he’d drawn in red. “It extends outward from a person’s body out to .45-meters in every direction. Only family, one’s lover, pets, and the absolute closest friends are allowed into this space. A mere acquaintance intruding into this space activates the amygdala and produces a fear-response. And depending on that person’s reaction to a fear response, you may end up in a physical altercation. Or it may just turn into a shouting match, or some passive-aggressive glaring.” Shinji put down the chalk and clapped his hands, a puff of chalk dust emitting from his palms. “Any questions?”
One of the technicians lifted a hand. “Why are the measurements all over the place? I can see they follow a pattern, but I can’t quite place it.”
“That’d be because the anthropologist whose research this came from was based in the US in 1960. And him, being American, used the dumb units instead of Metric to get it all figured out. The measurements he used were 1.5-feet, 4-feet, 12-feet, and 25+-feet. Which does not lend itself to pretty, whole numbers in metric.”
Kaworu raised his hand. “Is this why you reacted negatively to my getting close?”
Shinji held up a hand and moved it back and forth in a ‘so-so’ gesture. He then pointed to the purple and red rings on the board. “Part of it was that I didn’t know you, and you immediately started by encroaching on Personal and Intimate space. This came across more as an intimidation tactic, or a way to crudely attempt to assert social dominance. What you did to piss me off when we first met did not help matters.”
Rei raised her hand. “You never seemed to have that issue when I intruded on your personal and intimate space when we first met.”
Shinji nodded. “I’m a big guy, you’re tiny and adorable. Not only do you not impose much of a physical threat to me, but my entire gender literally evolved to want you in those spaces and to get in those same spaces on your end. Technically a bit sexist, but it is what it is. Other guys are competition, cute girls are a goal. That’s on average mind you, individual responses will vary.”
Asuka rubbed her temples.
The worst thing about this whole thing? She not only found herself interested, it made a certain amount of sense.
Another one of the technicians raised their hand, but Asuka never got to hear her question as the whole base rang with the Angel Attack siren.
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