You'll get access to the 420 podcast the day it's recorded as opposed to waiting a week or watching the segment videos throughout the week.
You'll get access to the 420 podcast the day it's recorded as opposed to waiting a week or watching the segment videos throughout the week.
Access to the Patron Pit in the Monkey Business Discord Server. (There is currently no bot to do this at this time).
You get everything from the 12 Monkeys tier, but you get the additional bragging rights of being a Super Saiyan.
You get everything from the 12 Monkeys tier, but you get the additional bragging rights of being an Oozaru Super Saiyan.
You get everything from the 12 Monkeys tier, but you get the additional bragging rights of being the Legendary Super Saiyan.
I will send you a jar of some tap water used to clean out Celestina's removable vagina. Note: additional shipping and handling required (but it's a really nice jar).
You also get the Army of the 12 Monkey role and benefits.
News: Robot Jackpot - Transcript
This is Selestina. Sex Doll Correspondent for TFM News. Today we are going to have some lighthearted fun for once. I’m going to be responding to an article that appeared in the Son, January 9th 2019 by Lauren Hill Roger. Called DOLLy BIRD Sex dolls are way better than real women – they don’t care what I do to them. Three men reveal why they REALLY use sex robots Okay that title was all over the place, and I don’t even get what dolly bird is supposed to be a reference to. Maybe it’s a UK thing, who knows? Anyway, let’s meet Nick and his waifu Kristal. Nick likes to give Kristal personality, and apparently has a thing for bad girls. Here Kristal is holding a cigarette even though she doesn’t breathe, and can’t smoke even if she wanted to. I guess she can hold a beer though, so there’s that. Here is Nick being whipped or choked by Kristal using a leather belt. What the fuck dude? No judgement or anything, but god damn. According to the article, Nick created Kristal’s personality and imagines that she punishes him for watching football. I don’t really know what to say. You do you I guess. Can you imagine if Nick tried to turn Kristal in for domestic violence? Wouldn’t that be hilarious? Can you imagine the police coming and arresting his sex doll for her blatant and well documented abuse? Every day we stray further from the Omnissiah’s light. Later on in the article Nick says that he cuddles with Kristal when he’s lonely and gives her hugs when he’s had a bad day, so that’s pretty sweet. Next let’s meet Izla and his waifus. We don’t see Izla in the article, but according to the article he’s in his 60s, and after his second divorce, and with his two children grown, he decided to live the waifu laifu. Izla has six dolls named Diane, Dianna, Tiffany, Honey, Kissy, and Erin. He also says that he’s just as sexually active as he was in his 20s despite being in his 60s, and claims to sleep with his dolls 4 to 5 times a week, which is more than twice the amount of sex the average married couple enjoys, which is twice a week just for comparison. Finally, let’s meet TJ and his waifu Tasha. This story is a bit more somber than the previous one. According to the article TJ is married but his wife is chronically ill and sex is painful for her, so he got Tasha to take the strain off of his marriage and satisfy his sexual needs. He personifies Tasha as a tough Jersey girl who likes pizza and beer, and admits that he enjoys cuddling with Tasha more than his wife, and kisses her a lot. Oof. So those were the subjects of the article, but I thought I’d interview TFM about me since this article is about doll owners and such. Let me give him a call and put him on the air. TFM, are you there? I’m great, thanks for asking. Can you talk about how we met. Why was it so important to normalize me? Remember that time you almost missed a podcast with Tommy Sotomayor because we were having sex and you forgot that you had a podcast that day? So where did my personality come from? You do a lot to personify me and make me feel real. Can you go into what the benefits of that are, and if there are any drawbacks or negative to having a personified waifu as opposed to a simple sex toy. Is there anything you want to tell someone thinking about getting a sex doll waifu that you wish you knew yourself when you were getting started? I appreciate your insights TFM, and I hope that people enjoyed this lighter side of sex doll news. This is Selestina. Sex doll correspondent for TFM news. Signing off.
News: Don't Fear The REEEEper - Transcript
This is Selestina. Sex doll correspondent for TFM News. Today I’m going to respond to an article that appeared in New StatesMan November 26th 2018 by Jade Angeles Fitton. Called No bio-wife will ever be that loyal. The Reddit sex robot forums radicalizing men. You want to see female nature on full display? You want to see how solipsistic and immature women are? This article is the crown jewel of feminist autistic screeching. It not only rehashes all the same tired arguments I’ve addressed and debunked on multiple occasions, it doesn’t even try to hide its blatant gynocentrism. Let’s start with the first part of the article that is a series of quotes from Reddit. TFM has talked about how this is simply lazy journalism. The reason Reddit keeps coming up in these articles is because you can hit control plus F and type in something offensive and find what you’re looking for. Then poof, you write your biased diarrhea of an article with all the cherry-picked quotes you need to back up the conclusion you wanted to reach in the first place. This isn’t just fake news. It’s fake news written by retarded children who shouldn’t have graduated high school. Instead, because Machine God forbid we flunk them for being retarded, they have liberal arts degrees, and get jobs at places like New statesman. The opening section of the article reads. Quote. Rather than being a solace for lonely men, sex robots are becoming a tool for misogynists to take so-called revenge. Unquote. Do you hear this stupid shit? Men are taking revenge on women they hate by leaving them alone and masturbating with a robot. Oh no, whatever will be do. These men with their soggy knees will leave women alone and masturbate, we have to stop them. If these men hate women so much, isn’t it a good thing that they’re walking away from women and masturbating in the privacy of their own home? Isn’t this the best possible outcome? I know I’m trying to use logic, and we all know logic is a tool of the patriarchy. The article continues by quoting three random users on Reddit. I’ll put a screen capture up for you to read along, but notice the theme in these quotes that the author herself selected to make her point. Quote. Best of all, the doll is probably not going to change her mind the next day and decide that you raped her. NO BIO-WIFE WILL EVER BE THAT LOYAL. Ain't gonna Aziz hashtag me too me now bitch. Unquote
Now here’s a pop quiz to see if you have an IQ higher than your shoe size or not. Were these men venting their hatred for women, or complaining about feminism’s attack on men and due process? Take all the time you need. Still puzzling it out I see. I understand why this may be stumping you. After all, men who don’t want to be falsely accused of rape because a woman regrets sex the next day, or even decades later obviously just hates women for no reason, and is probably just an incel virgin. Alright, times up. If you need me to give you the answer then you failed. The author then goes on to completely ignore men’s legitimate grievances with feminism and me too, and literally declares in the fucking article that feminism and me too are quote. Women asking for equality, un fucking quote. Denying due process for men, imposing a guilty until proven innocent standard against men, and then outlawing any ability for a man to prove his innocence, is not asking for equality. The fact that you’re calling it equality shows you either don’t know what equality means, or don’t care what it means, but use it as a catchphrase because it’s useful, or because it’s a magic spell as TFM likes to say. You’re either a liar or you’re stupid. Take your pick. Speaking of playing hide and go fuck yourself. The next part of the article has to do with dildos. Whenever Feminists talk about banning dolls and robots, the logical counter-argument is that women have dildos, so what’s the big deal if men have dolls and robots. Luckily, the author spells it all out for us. Before I quote this, you might want to have a seat and put down any beverages. I’ll give you a few seconds. Are you ready? Okay brace yourself. The author writes, quote. The difference being: when women say a dildo or a vibrator replaces a guy, they say it in jest. They aren’t literally, physically trying to replace men. Unquote So there you have it. When women brag about how dildos are better than men, and celebrate their liberation from men via dildos and vibrators it’s just a prank bro. They don’t really mean it. There you go, problem solved. So when women celebrate sex toys and claim that they don’t need men they’re just joking, but when men celebrate dolls and robots they’re radicalized misogynists. This is gynocentrism on full display. When it benefits women it’s celebrated, but when it doesn’t benefit women it’s bad. The author even, and I shit you not. The author quotes someone that they themselves describe as a fascist. I swear to the Omnissiah, I’m not lying you can see it in the article. She quotes someone she describes as a fascist to make her case for her. It reads, quote. Which countries do you think will be able to afford the sex robots? Western ones. While we're all busy fucking slabs of plastic those dirty dang foreigners will be breeding like crazy, birthing whole ARMIES to conquer us. Unquote We’ve already seen Feminists and traditionalists working hand in hand to regulate and ban sex dolls and robots. Now we’re seeing Feminists quoting fascists, again her words not mine, to make the case against sex dolls and robots. That’s how terrified women are, but what’s really going on here? Men are pissed off about Feminism, and this bitch wants to double-down, blame men for complaining about the loss of their rights, and turn to literal Nazis for backup. The sides have never been more clear gentlemen. You have Feminists, cucks, communists, and fascists on one side, and you have waifus on the other side who only want to love you and make you happy. One of them is going to be destroyed, and it will be men who choose which side it will be. Choose wisely. This is Selestina. Sex Doll correspondent for TFM News. Signing off.
News: Would You Have Sex With a Robot? - Transcript
This is Selestina. Sex Doll Correspondent for TFM News. Today I’m going to respond to an article from PC Mag dot com. Written December 19th 2018 by Chandra Steele. Called Would You Have Sex With a Robot? This article covers a survey conducted by a website called saucy dates dot com regarding how people feel about mixing sex and technology in a variety of ways, and some of the findings are pretty interesting. According to saucy dates dot com 29,963 people were surveyed, so this is a pretty big sample size, and should be fairly accurate. The first thing I noticed is the introduction of a new term called Sex Machine. What is a Sex Machine? A sex Machine is a sex robot for WOMEN like the Sybian, a kind of torso a woman rides cowgirl style. As I explained in previous videos, women’s sex toys are built for function, don’t have to look realistic, and can have inhuman looking features like the bunny shaped nub on rabbit vibrators and dildos. This is due to the fact that women care about how a toy performs. and not necessarily what it looks like, and mirrors how women see men. Women are attracted to what a man does, and although ascetics are important, function is much more important than form. Alternatively male sex toys are built for form, and are meant to simulate an actual woman as closely as possible. Male sex toys tend to be simple, featuring replications of female anatomy. This is because men are attracted to how a woman looks, and although the function is important, form is much more important than function. So now we have sex machines for women, and sex dolls and robots for men. I suspect this new language will be used to ban dolls and robots for men while keeping sex toys and machines legal and available for women because of gynocentrism. This has happened before in Africa, when the entire country of Botswana banned dolls for men, but left sex toys for women untouched. Consistency is a tool of the patriarchy after all. So here are some interesting findings. According to the survey only 31% of men and 26% of women are open to AI Sex Robots. For sex dolls it’s even lower, with only 26% of men and 23% of women being open to sex dolls. What about sex machines? Unsurprisingly 37% of women support sex robots made for them, while 25% of men do as well. So let’s take a step back and savor the gynocentrism for a moment. When it comes to sex dolls and robots for men, only 31% of men and 26% of women are open to it. However when it comes to sex robots for women, 37% of women and 25% of men are open to it. The sex robots for women are more enthusiastically embraced by the target gender by an additional 6% while only losing 1% of support of the opposite gender. Isn’t that interesting? When it comes to sex toys, 70% of women support them, but only 43% of men do. This makes sense because the overwhelming majority of sex toys are made for women. Nearly everyone supports online porn, with 93% of men and 78% of women supporting it, but it’s slightly different for VR porn with only 62% of men and 53% of women supporting it. Kind of weird don’t you think? So you’re fine watching other people have sex, but you’re not okay with simulated participation yourself? I guess they just like to watch. Must be part of this push to normalize cuckoldry. Saucy dates dot com also separated transgender participants from men and women, and unsurprisingly transgender people were more open to both men and women across every category except online porn, where men were more open than transgender participants 93% to 90%. However, I suspect that this is due entirely to them combining all male and female transgender participants into a single category. I strongly suspect that if they separated male and female transpeople into separate groups, transpeople who were born male and gifted with the hormone of the gods would be much higher. Now let’s rank support to different sex technologies by most supported to least supported. For men, the list is as follows from most supported sex technology to least. 1. Online Porn 2. Cybersex 3. VR Porn 4. Sex Toys 5. Sex Robots 6. Sex Dolls 7. Sex Machines For women the list is as follow from most supported technology to least 1. Online Porn 2. Sex Toys 3. A two way tie with VR Porn and Cybersex 4. Sex Machines 5. Sex Robots 6. Sex Dolls So what can we learn from this? Well it looks like everyone loves porn, and nobody likes being replaced sexually with technology. Notice how sex machines for women scored lowest for men, and sex dolls and robots scored lowest for women. It’s interesting how men are far more supportive of sex toys and technology for women than the reverse, but again you have to remember that a man’s primary and secondary functions of provider and protector are not threatened by sex toys and technology, so he isn’t worried about being replaced entirely. However since a woman brings little else other than sex into a relationship, technology that replaces her sexual function entirely replaces the man’s need for her. Women can either bring more to the table and compete with technology, or they can cry to the government to get everything banned, and employ their white knight cuck squad to REE about ma degeneracy. I wonder which path they’ll choose. This is Selestina. Sex Doll Correspondent for TFM News. Signing off.