Soph profile
Here to minimize your suffering by gracefully defecating on your ears and eyes.
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Subscription Tiers

per month
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Your honor exceeds your proportions, and the warmth of my eternal gratitude is imparted. At this tier, you get the main videos and access to the livestreams.

279 subscribers
per month
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You've grown so much since the last time I've seen you. This prestigious tier permanently sets your name in stone. And by stone, I mean the credits of my videos. Pick a name (anything) and I'll write it there for you. You also get all previous benefits, and access to the stream archives and highlights.

118 subscribers
per month
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How's the umbilical cord treating ya? You get all previous benefits, plus access to the Side Order, and you get to put an image of your choice next to your name (nothing bad, obviously).

36 subscribers
per month
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You're almost ready to Joe Rogan spin-kick your way out of your mother's stomach. You get all previous benefits, plus early access to videos and access to the Tidbits.

15 subscribers
per month
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Baby Boy

Congratulations, it's time for circumcision! On top of all the previous benefits, you get a coupon code for merch.

21 subscribers


  • $1: Main Videos – A dispensed tablet of compressed insight with an aftertaste of amusement. Prohibited topics may be discussed, such as: how to not commit suicide.
  • $5: Soph’s Shortwave Telecoms – Livestreams in which I put my ear to the blessed terrain of this Earth so I can listen to your prayers and answer them forthrightly. | Stream Archives - Both new and old streams; amounts to upwards of 200 hours of content.
  • Higher Tiers: Side Order – Behind The Scenes Mess-Ups, Bloopers and Bleepers; White Ring Extremist Radicalization {Secret Society, don’t ask}; and So! Much! More! | Tidbit – Podcasts anywhere from 10 minutes to 1 hour, where my co-host (Victor) and I pontificate on philosophical matters one minute and cackle about poop and pee the next.

The subscription gives you:
  • Access to Star's profile content.
  • Ability to support your Star by contributing – one-time or recurring.
  • Means to reaching out to the Star directly via Instant Messenger.
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