(death character sitting next to a solid white character gray background)

( look toward each other)

ShotGhost: What is this that I can't see ice cold hands taking hold on me

ShotDeath: My name is Death.  None can excel.  I'll open the gate to heaven or hell. 

(fade between)

Black screen white letters:(still singing Oh death) (bottom scroll: Content warning: The following video contains discussions of mental health, suicide, death, and the afterlife. Content is meant to be a speculative discussion about my own beliefs and is not intended to be viewed as instructional. Please do not use this as your sole source of information, as again, content is based on my own beliefs and experience.) 

ShotNormal: Hi…( Coughs like sick and collapses)

ShotGhost: (sit up) Hi I’m Dottie the Psychic!

ShotDeath: Well, you were.

ShotGhost: What does that mean!?

ShotDeath: Well, you're kind of a plot device now.

ShotGhost: Am I dead?

ShotDeath: Yeah, but like, "comic book" dead. Don't worry you'll be fine by the end of the video.

ShotGhost: So this must be that spirit video I promised in the first death video.

ShotNurse Dottie: Yes,as a matter of fact--(say with flourish)--It’s the video that nobody asked for! Some of you may know, I was a long term care nurse for 10 years.  Some of you may not believe that because all I really have to show for it is an anxiety disorder and a fetish for hand washing.

ShotSexy hand washing: Cut to sexy hand washing seen abc's fade into sexy music.

ShotNurse Dottie: Oh yeah, get every surface. (Composes self) Back to the point. In a previous video I had mentioned that I had seen some creepy shit as a nurse.

(insert a picture of the toilets at TALA) 

ShotContinuing: Most of the time it was as the facility was going into a "death cycle." That’s what we called it when things would get very strange and people started dying.   People would see things. Electronics would act  up. Expressly things like automatic sinks, hand sanitizer dispensers, paper towel dispensers

(pan out from hand washing to see death smiling with wet hands.) 

ShotContinuing: I guess I’m not the only one that likes hand hygiene.  Then usually three or more people would die.

(door, knocking sound, open to no one) 

ShotContinuing: Once, three of us heard disembodied knocking on a supply room door.  

ShotNurse: That shit happened.  I don’t expect you to believe me. When the pandemic is over, and people are allowed to, go volunteer at your local nursing home.  Adopt a crazy old person near you.  They can use the company and you’ll see way weirder shit there than in a ghost hunters video.

shotDeath: Death omens are probably enough for a video of their own, but my Mom asked me to tell you about how my Great, Great, Great, grandma would hear knocking on her bed post the night before her daughter Dori would lose a child.  Six of them died. We still decorat the gravies. 

ShotGhost:(upset) I could do a whole video on omens when I get back in my body. What happens with the people?

Shot forNurse Okay let's talk about some of these things. Quite a few times I resident has told me they were going to die.  A sense of impending doom is considered a symptom.  Some medications or a heart attack can cause this. Go to the hospital.

ShotGhost: Sometimes people will get way better all of the sudden.  My nursing teacher told me about this in school.  It happens enough to get a term of its own.  Terminal lucidity can last just a few minutes.  Like the person that has been barely there for an extended amount of time will sit up and say goodbye.  I had a lady that I thought was non-verbal start talking to me and a few other staff. She started participating in activities for like a week then she died. We thought she was getting better then boom. 

shotDeath: Sometimes they will stay way longer than we thought they would. Especially, if they are waiting for family they haven’t seen in years or had a falling out with.  I’ve also seen them wait for family to leave.  

ShotGhost: so where was my 10min warning? (look frustrated)

shotDeath:(look exasperated) (calming voice) You're not actually dead and we didn't want to send your poor mother a false alarm. This is just a near death experience.

ShotGhost: (close up) Actually, this is a youtube video, but let's talk about it.

ShotShawoman: Now the way I see it there are three types of near death experience, spiritual  journeys, mostly dead, and rock bottom. 

ShotJump “Becoming a Shaman: Narratives of Apprenticeship and Initiation into Contemporary Shamanism'' by Carlina Ivanescu and Sterre Berentzen is a great article about Neo-Shamanism.  The article makes an interesting point about how each form of Shamanism is developed by individual cultures, but all have certain similarities.  One of those is the duty of a living psychopomp.  

ShotLiterary Librarian:  Psychopomps prompt wayward or wandering spirits straight to the place spirits are supposed to pass. 

ShotShawoman:  Most cultures require their spiritual leaders to know about the place they are sending people.  I’ve actually taken part in a ritual that was as simple as a guided meditation in the land of the ancestors.  One time I saw a National Geographic episode where this girl was unconscious for three days and had to learn a dance from the dead. 

ShotContinuing: Of course there are people that dip their toe in the after life the hard way.  Some people have a moment where they’re only mostly dead. 

ShotGhost: Nobody is going through my pochest are they?

Shot Death: (face palm) Sometimes people have traumatic events that bring them right to my door, but their number isn’t up as it were.

ShotShaman: I’m not going to speculate as to whether these things are fated to happen, but I have predicted them and postdicted(look up questioningly)them.  Anyway, I’ve picked up on them in palm readings a lot. Often I’ll tell people it’s a moment your soul has or will make a choice to stay or go, but things are never the same after. 

*Taking off face* Sometimes I see these things and the person has nearly died another way. Sometimes a person will realize the path they are on is against who they are and is killing them.  You don’t necessarily have to be an addict to reach rock bottom.  When someone hits rock bottom the life they lived is over.  Some choose to ride that train to its inevitable end and some choose to start a new life.  At that moment I choose life. I choose to seek help.  Please choose the same.  

(clean face smile)

(calm music) Broll

ShotGhost:  I’ve seen a bunch of those shows where people nearly die and they leave their body and see a bright light and everyone is enlightened. Don’t you think  it’s a bit cliche.

shotDeath: It’s a bit more difficult to interview those that don’t 

Ghost: So can I go rattle my friends door knob?  I know he’s the kind to bring a live plant to my funeral. (look for death and see three puppets)

Ghosts: Who are you?

Skull Puppet(SP): I am regret 

Ghost Puppet(GP): I am dout 

Pumpkin Puppet(PP): I am fear 

Ghost: What are you doing here?

SP: We are here-- 

GP: --to lead you away--

PP: --from the light. 

(dem whole seen )  

Ghost: Why would you do that to me?

(SP): Because you wasted your time on empty things.

(GP): Because you are not worthy of peace and happiness.

(PP) Because you will be sent to Perdition.

 

Ghost: How do you know that?

SP: We have--

GP: --Always been--

PP: --With you.

Ghost: Where were you?

SP: I have followed you from the beginning 

GP: I have always been at your shoulder 

PP: I have stood in front of you this whole time

Ghost: How is it I have never seen you?

SP:We are--

GP: --Inside-- 

PP: --of you.

Shot Death: I'd ask you what the hell you think you're doing, but I don't care. Go away.

(All general fussing and squawking about getting kicked. They sqack Death drop kicks them Hogal style and tells them to fuck off)

shotDeath: Look away for a second and those assholes just pop up.

Ghost: (Shaken) What if they’re writing about me?

shotDeath: They are just phantoms of a phantom.  Products of the trauma that is leaving life. Plenty of good people have to deal with these feelings before they can move on. 

Ghost: So you're saying I’m a good person?

Shot Death: No, what I was saying is,”don’t listen to those assholes”, but as long as you’ve tried to be a decent person you're fine. If you let them overwhelm you there's a potential to get stuck or lose your direction.

Ghost: Is that what happens with ghosts? 

Shot Dead: It can and does.  Most spirits stick around for a little while after they die almost like an acclimation period. Then they're supposed to go into the light.  I don’t know what happens once they’re there, but after a while they can come back and offer guidance or reincarnate.

Voice Over: (broll broken stones and angels with dirty faces) For all the same reasons people get stuck in life they can also get stuck in death. Some get stuck for so long they forget what their own face looks like.  One of my friends described it as a spiritual altimeres or amnesia.

Voice over Ghost trying to get someone's attention:  These are called intelligent hauntings.  Whether they are smart or not is another story.  If they think they can get you to hear them they’ll usually talk.  Even or especially the unpleasant ones will do what they can to  make themselves known. 

shotDeath: In some cases they start really feeding off the fear energy of living people.  These hungry ghosts can be pretty terrifying.

Voice over Ghost repeating simple action on loop:  Another type of haunting is a residual. They are like a recording in time and space. Rather than a person being stuck, an energetic loop is created.  They don’t respond and are often predictable.  Sometimes they’re even tied to certain meteoric conditions. 

ShotDeath: I would also like to talk about other worldly beings and thought forms, but that is a whole other video. A Lot of time you can reason with these spirits.  If you ever feel up like you're in danger from something like this you can reach out to me or your spiritual adviser. Chances are they have dealt with this very situation before.  It’s practically a rite of passage.

ShotGhost:(nervous) So, I kinda understand what happens to people when they go to the light. It’s like Heaven and everyone is back together and part of something great.  I mean what about people that go the other way?

shotDeath:  Honestly, it’s like a back door for spirits that literally believe they are damned.  Some people can’t forgive themselves and choose the darkness.  They have to go through a deprograming.

Shot Ghost: I mean what happens to bad people?  I don’t want to go to the same place pedos go.

shotDeath:  I understand your need for justice.  There are people that have well earned an eternity of pain. I don’t have a solid answer except they also go to the darkness.  That’s all I know.

Ghost: Well, that's not very satisfying. 

shotDeath: I know, right? It’s like the DMV.  You're not getting a lot of help over the phone.

Ghost: Oh my God

God: I’m here.

Ghost: (shock) Holy Shit. it’s God

God: Well there is a fair chance that I’m a product of your body releasing MDMA and hypoxia, either way I know what you're about to ask.

Ghost: Okay, Well?

God: in 399 BCE Socrates was sentenced to death and allowed the opportunity to drink hemlock poison at a party in his honor. He wasn’t afraid because he believed he was either going to a dreamless sleep or he was going to get to hang out with other dead philosophers.

Ghost: I know it’s not your style, but this is already a long video.  Can we get to the point?

God: The point is act like the people you want to hang out with in the next life and don’t worry so much.  Next question.

ShotGhosts: What about reincarnation? I mean there’s just too much in life for this to be our one go around.

God:  Yeah, but it’s got nothing to do with what you “deserve”.  I prefer redemption to retribution.  Unfortunately, most reincarnation theories are literally victim blaming on a cosmic level.  In truth, a spirit may be placed in a completely different situation.  If you want to know more, look into past life regression, but the point of reincarnation is to remove the weight of past deeds and learned prejudices.  Any more questions?

Ghost: What stocks should I invest in?

God: I don’t know. That’s the other guy’s baby.

Death: Are you ready to go back?

Shot Dottie (roll credits over): (coming to) (Call Mom) Hi, Mom I just had the strangest dream. 

Black screen white letters Oh death: Like Subscribe, Comment, Bloopers on SubscribeStar

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