Self Care Sunday; Tips From Judith Rose

  Hello readers. 2021 is shaping up to be the rough and tumble sequel to 2020. It's now been one year since major changes were announced in the media. After the inauguration, many people lost a lot of hope. For many, the news is a source of stress. Fear is more common than the flu and common cold, which have miraculously disappeared almost entirely. Families and friends are divided like never before on political issues. Gas and insulin prices are up, we're back to bombing to the middle east, and the President has left us in the dark on multiple occasions after getting cut off from answering questions. The delayed stimulus check that hardly makes up for what so many need and have lost in the past year is not only less than what was promised in the beginning of February, but in some cases debt collectors can actually garnish it on its way to you. 
  Things are strange and they don't make sense. Many are understandably stressed. My heart goes out to people struggling to pay bills, raise children, and make sense of it all when they barely have the time to look into it. People that are awake to the global scandal don't know how to solve such an immense problem. Few of us have solutions other than raising awareness. It can be grinding to search for answers, waiting for justice and fighting off people who think you're insane on a regular basis. People have reported higher suicide rates, especially in younger people.
  So how do we cope? 
  As someone who has previously struggled with dark thoughts and suicide ideation, I've gone through some extreme changes to ensure I never go back to that place. Last summer transformed me and I haven't been the same since. I was depressed beforehand, and looking back it's because I wasn't looking at the big picture and considering all perspectives. I've discovered that recovering from negative thinking patterns requires constant work. The ultimate act of self care is recognizing the way the world is trying to program you and reprogramming your mind with conscious intention. 
  The first step is wanting change. Are you miserable all the time? Do you want it to stop? Are you willing to make an effort? When you come to terms with the fact that you alone are responsible for your happiness and the way you react to outside stress, and understand that happiness is a choice, you're free to start working on yourself from the inside out. This invisible war is very spiritual, and so taking care of your spirit first is of utmost importance. If you're looking for tips on internal growth, I humbly offer a few points to consider for achieving day-to-day happiness. 
     1. Learn to accept your past and be present. The past is over and done with. There is nothing you can do about it now. The past can haunt us and hold us back from living our lives. This is even being weaponized in the media; dragging up history to create problems only make the present more difficult to live in. If you're having trouble, practice sitting quietly in a room, taking deep breaths, and noticing things around you. What's the date and the time? Study basic grounding techniques and learn to forgive yourself, you've gotten through all of your bad days so far! It's good to plan ahead, but in the end there is only now. 
  2. Stop comparing yourself to others and being afraid of what other people think. This is a big one that holds a lot of people back from saying what they really think or following their heart. Worrying about what others would think if you did something may be a sign that you don't have the right people in your life. Unless your choices are hurting someone or yourself, you should feel free to live your life and focus on what you have, not what you don't. Wanting what other people have doesn't get you anywhere either. Live your truth. Say what you mean. If you want it, get it, but remember that that thing your friend has that you want probably won't make you happy in the end. Which brings me to: 
  3. Practice gratitude every day. I highly recommend this one, because this is guaranteed to raise your general vibration, which in turn attracts more good things to you. When you say you want or need something, you create a sense of lack. You're telling the universe you lack something, and it creates a sort of spiritual black hole. Being happy with what you have, accepting yourself and deciding to love life can sound a lot easier than it is for some. And as I've said, this can require constant work. When I wake up I like to make a list of things I'm grateful for. It can be on paper at first, but mental acknowledgement alone can be just as important. 
  4. Simplify your life and cut down on the noise. This is a broad statement, but good to apply to all aspects of your life. Get rid of things that don't serve you anymore. Donate old clothes and things you don't get use out of. Stop being friends with people who make you feel less than. Stop dating people who cause you heartache. The things in our life reflect how we feel about ourselves. In order to bring our souls from dark to light, we have to be willing to go through some unpleasantness first, like moving on from toxic relationships. You deserve it! I also advise cutting down on social media and news. It's best not to look at it first thing in the morning or before bed. That time is better spent quieting the mind and practicing gratitude. If you're religious, I recommending reading a comforting verse in this time as well.
   5. Learn to see the silver lining in problems. There is a lesson in everything. Every problem is an opportunity to learn something. We can choose to let these obstacles break us down, or we can take control of our emotions and approach life with a level head. The outside evil wants to break us down from the inside out, so one of the greatest acts of rebellion right now is to love yourself and see the lessons in things that happen. I see the current administration as a blessing only because more people need to see things first hand to learn anything. Some of us have to learn the hard way, and while it's perfectly ok to feel overwhelmed for a moment, we have the option of picking ourselves up and deciding how an experience can make us stronger. 
  6. Practice positive self talk and affirmations. Look in the mirror and say "I love you." Is it hard? Is it weird? This means you could really benefit from actively changing your thoughts and learning to love yourself. Those cheesy cliche phrases may turn your stomach, but many of them are very true and helpful. I frequently practice writing in a private notebook phrases to correct negative thinking. "I love myself, I forgive myself, and I know that everything I need is already within me." I write that phrase all the time, and it helps to repeat when I'm feeling low. If you want to stop negative self talk but you don't know where to start, it can be difficult, but when we care for ourselves deeply it becomes much easier to care for others. You deserve it! 
  7. Once a day, do something nice for yourself and someone else. This is mostly self explanatory. It can be something small, like having a nice bath, or cleaning your house because you deserve a clean environment. As far as doing something for someone else, use your imagination! Little acts of kindness reverberate in the world. Sometimes just a kind word can improve someone's day. A positive message or compliment can mean the world to someone. In a time when people are being brainwashed into turning against each other, this is becoming more and more important. Pay it forward! 
  My morning routine depends on the mood I wake up in. I value my alone time, and often sit quietly in prayer and reflection before bed as well. It no longer bothers me to be alone or misunderstood by others. I've worked hard to befriend myself and find peace, but I still have to correct myself at times. It's ok! We all make mistakes. We're human beings, and we're supposed to be allowed to make mistakes and learn. We're supposed to change and develop as we go, to an extent. We have the option of quitting that job, leaving that bad relationship, and standing up for what we believe in. We can treat life as an adventure, or as a catastrophe, making excuses as to why we have problems, never looking in the mirror.  
  We're tested every day in little ways by the Universe. How will you show up for yourself and others today?