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[00:00:00] We have like people who do shrooms in here. [00:00:02][1.7] [00:00:07] As an experiment. Last fall I ate mushrooms 110 days in a row. [00:00:17][9.4] [00:00:21] It was supposed to be one 108 days in a row but I forgot. [00:00:23][2.1] [00:00:29] I used to like really experiment with them. I used to live in a house in Dallas like we will have huge parties downstairs 30 40 people raging and I would eat like six grams of mushrooms and I would just lay. You got to go out of the park bro if you want to see what's going on and. I mean my tighty whiteys and have a blindfold on and noise canceling headphones. [00:00:54][24.3] [00:00:57] And I'm in it dude. I mean there's I mean I go walking down this hallway and there's like some insects over here they're just busy. And then I. And then like I see this open door at the end of the hallway I know I'm laying at the end of the bed but I'm also looking at the hallway in my own like almost dead feet. And then a voice from outside is like you've done enough at this level. If you want to move on through this door we have more for you to do. [00:01:22][24.9] [00:01:26] And I freaked out and I wanted to come back to this reality but I couldn't. [00:01:29][3.9] [00:01:30] I was stuck in between two realities and I freaked out and in my tighty whiteys I ran out of my bedroom down the stairs into the party ripped the stereo out of the wall and I was like well I'm pretty sure I'm going to die. Don't call the cops. And I ran back upstairs. [00:01:45][15.4] [00:01:47] And I called my first wife at the time and I was like you got to pray for me. And I so she's Mexican so she started praying over me in Spanish so I knew it was gonna work. She handed me a red rose and it disappeared in front of both of our eyes and gray dust and she doubled down on the prayers. And it was fine. [00:02:08][20.8] [00:02:09] The music came back on and I just laid in my bed and I had a good time now. The reason I tell that story is so I could tell this next story the next. You would have thought I would have gotten the answer right. [00:02:22][13.2] [00:02:22] Hang up the phone. No because like What if I did 7 grams of mushrooms when I went Bikhram yoga because I'm like it's 115 degrees I could just lay there and stale and stare at the ceiling tiles and just time the peak right. So it's in the middle of the yoga. I'm not doing the poses anyways I'm just going to lay there. [00:02:44][21.3] [00:02:48] So I'm at. The plans workin is that the lady running the class is like hey I have an appointment after this. Normally we'd be hanging out. I got to leave I gotta lock this place up. [00:02:59][11.2] [00:02:59] You all gotta go somewhere else. [00:03:01][1.1] [00:03:08] Dude my eyesballs were huge dude. I'm leaning against the thing and I'm like Well how long do I have to wait until I'm not this anymore. And I was. I'm not bragging. [00:03:15][7.6] [00:03:16] I was driving a Mercury Grand Marquis. And it had a broken cruise control and every time it hit 36 miles an hour it went 83. [00:03:30][13.9] [00:03:33] I would get thirty six and there just keep breaking on it to go. And so I'm like I should. Don't ever bring me drive don't ever do it. [00:03:39][6.1] [00:03:39] All right. I'm an idiot and I'm way deep in it and I'm driving away from the yoga place who's behind me. Its Vinnie. [00:03:46][6.7] [00:03:48] Kidding. It was it was a real cop. I'm kidding. [00:03:50][2.0] [00:03:58] Two Dallas police officers are behind me. [00:04:00][1.9] [00:04:01] I am looking in my rear view and I see this like gas station up on the left that I'm like if I go in there and just pretend I'm getting snacks I think I can get away with this so I pull I pulled into the parking lot and then all the signs of the food like distracted me. [00:04:18][17.5] [00:04:19] So I was just kind of figuring out why I was I forgot why I was there and I was just looking at the pictures and the colors and watching the spinning meats inside and thinking out what I can get. [00:04:29][9.8] [00:04:29] And then I looked in the rearview mirror at my jumbo eyes and the cops were still behind me so I freaked out and I went out of the place and I proceeded to do in a four lane road. I did a seven point turn. [00:04:42][13.0] [00:04:46] With my Grand Marquis and that's what I got lit up WOO WOO I went right back in. [00:04:52][5.5] [00:04:53] If you've ever prayed for anything find the Lord in those moments when it was just me and the red and blue lights going through the Red Sox logo on my back window and I'm sweaty and I'm just getting lost in it. [00:05:09][15.5] [00:05:09] I heard two cops going down the side of my God just get me out of this please. I'll never do this again. I'll never drink and drive. I'll call my dad and tell him I love him. [00:05:17][8.0] [00:05:20] I'll stop jerking off. I gave it all. [00:05:21][1.6] [00:05:22] I gave it all and the lady cop on this side was a lady cop on this side and she hit my window with a nightstick and I was like Oh that this isn't a good start. [00:05:35][13.5] [00:05:39] So I will I wheeled I wheeled down the window and my eyes are huge and she goes what happened with that three point turn. [00:05:47][8.3] [00:05:47] You just tried to make and I was like oh my cars long that sounded right. I feel like I could get away with that. [00:05:56][9.3] [00:06:00] And I'm sweaty I'm shirtless. My eyes are big . She looks down and she goes. Are you all right. [00:06:05][5.3] [00:06:06] I was like yeah I just came back from yoga. [00:06:07][1.4] [00:06:11] She didn't know what that looked like. So just what I looked like she just assumed that's what it would look like if my fat ass went to yoga and I'm sitting there. I Gave her my I.D. and everything. She goes back to the car. [00:06:21][10.5] [00:06:22] Like time just stops. And I was like please anything more please. She comes back. [00:06:27][5.0] [00:06:28] The two of them crunch along the side. [00:06:29][1.3] [00:06:31] She goes I'm going to give you a warning. [00:06:32][1.3] [00:06:33] Get home safe that feeling of relief that goes through you. You know what I'm talking about from head to toe. When you light up like you've been struck by lightning that reality that your situation has changed. Deliverance is possible. And it's there. [00:06:50][16.2] [00:06:53] And I just breathe relax. And then our partner came back around the other side. [00:06:59][5.3] [00:06:59] I'm like oh shit hit my window on this side. And I'm like Oh maybe I'm like I celebrated too early. And I leaned in like this. [00:07:07][7.3] [00:07:07] And she looks in the car and she goes I want you to know that the love of my life the woman at home who I am going to marry is a diehard Red Sox fan. And if she would have known that I've pulled over a fellow fan I wouldn't be getting any pussy tonight. [00:07:07][0.0] [343.2]
