The Jinx of the Red Shirt

I have come to realize and have verified my mom is a jinx.

I have (am) programmed(ing) myself to never discuss the things in my life with her ever again. Every time I do, it ALWAYS goes belly up.

She is not unique. There are three shirts in my closet that are the same way. They are all red. Red shirts produce bad luck in my life.

It's my fault really. I was on a softball team with red shirts. The manager said we could be whatever number we wanted. I asked if it had to be a real number. In a huff, he said we could have whatever number we wanted.

I chose "The Square Root of Negative 1."

No. Really.

I had the local shirt makers make it for me using some straight lines. Worked perfectly. Just in case, I had "71i" printed on the inside of the shirt (for obvious reasons).

Whenever we'd play other teams, all the engineers and scientists on the other teams crowed and desired my shirt like mad! ("I need to get me one of those shirts!") Everyone else was just confused.

Well, a side effect of this was it caused my spirits a HUGE amount of emotional distress.

After years and years of effort, I finally got them to accept the number Zero: 

Me: "If I have five apples in my hand and I take away all five apples, how many apples do I have in my hands?"

Spirits: No apples exist for to be associated with the hand.

Me: Right, we call that zero apples.

Spirits: Noooo. There are no apples that exist for the hand. It is not "zero" there is simply a not existence of apples for the hand. The hand has not apples in existence for the hand.

It was during these discussions I learned the programming concept of "Null" which is different than the programming concept of "Zero."

Nonetheless, after years and years they finally understood that if it was possible for apples to exist for the hand, then it was possible that the number of apples for the hand would be zero.

(After that came a lessor struggle to explain negative numbers, but that a smaller story.)

Then I got "the Square Root of Negative One" as a number on my RED baseball jersey and they simply had a cow.

Spirits: "Nothing that cannot exist, cannot exist."

Spirits: "Nothing that cannot exist, cannot exist."
Spirits: "Nothing that cannot exist, cannot exist."
Spirits: "Nothing that cannot exist, cannot exist."
Spirits: "Nothing that cannot exist, cannot exist."
Spirits: "Nothing that cannot exist, cannot exist."
Because of this, whenever I wore a red shirt, they would go nuts and my normal good-ish luck existence would go south just because they were forced to remember the baseball shirt with the "number" "the Square Root of Negative One" on it.

Spirits: "Nothing that cannot exist, cannot exist."
Spirits: "Nothing that cannot exist, cannot exist."
Spirits: "Nothing that cannot exist, cannot exist."
Spirits: "Nothing that cannot exist, cannot exist."
... So now I no longer can wear red shirts -- very bad luck occurs when I do.

I Am Sielow, These are my words.

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