I didn't get an unexpected seed packet from China, I got a doohickey

I didn't get a seed packet, I got a doohickey.  In the mail.  Unexpectedly from China.
You remember, a few weeks ago, in June or July of 2020, all across America, people were getting unordered, unexpected seed packets from China.  No one had ordered them; no one knew why they were sent.  Some people suspected the Chinese were trying to introduce harmful, non-native species into North America.  A few months earlier they had released a virus which had caused a world wide pandemic which caused panic and economic stresses throughout the globe.
Was this another attempt by the Chinese to bring down the world to a level they could conquer?
Me?  I didn't get a seed packet, I got a doohickey.  (See photo if there is one with this post.)  It's an EXTREMELY cheap laptop stand of some sort.  Something you might find at a dollar store but even then at three for a dollar.
So I called up my contact at the Chinese consulate in New York to ask him about it and the seed packets.  After making fun of America and American intelligence for 10 minutes, he told me what was going on.
China is preparing to go to war with the USA.  He thinks the target date is in September sometime.  As stated in previous posts, the Chinese Military needs a win if they want to avoid being swallowed up by the Chinese Government side of the leadership structure.  So they are going to launch a war.  According to the plans I know of, they will be attacking Taiwan.
Anyway, he explained to me that at 3:00a ET on a Sunday morning, every single credit and debit card the Chinese have on file will be maxed out with bogus charges.  With the help of Chinese programmers already affecting banking programs, the Chinese think they will be able to disable at least 70-percent of all USA credit and debit cards.  The goal is 90-percent, but the success level is 70-percent.
Why 3:00a ET on a Sunday morning?  The 3:00a ET is midnight on the West Coast.  All workers in the banking industry will be at home or partying.  Those partying will suddenly discover they cannot pay for drinks or food or cab rides or subway tickets.  They won't be able to get money from ATMs and will be stranded wherever they are.  None of their friends will be able to help, either.  Having mostly converted to a cashless society, this should cause mass rioting from the West coast eastward as people find themselves unable to DO anything.
Imagine, right now, what would happen if you were at your favorite bar Early Sunday and couldn't pay your tab, order a taxi, Uber, or subway pass to get home with.  No ATM will give you money; you can't even go to a grocery store and buy food or water.
The Chinese Military predicts the USA will be in flames within two hours.
He then asked me to imagine how well the American soldiers will be able to fight after an hour long conversation with a wife back home who is complaining she can't buy food for the starving children.  The common soldier will be so screwed up they won't know which way to turn:  Homeward to help the family or toward the enemy to save Taiwan.
Any technicians trying to get into the city's to work on the computer systems will also be delayed by the same inability to use their credit cards to get to the office.  And even if they do have the cash to get to the office, the person working the subway ticket booth, the few that still exist, won't be able to get in to take the money for a subway ticket.  That, combined with it being a Sunday should cause the foundation of America to crack and even crumble.  The Chinese Military predict it will take 5 days to straighten out the situation and in that time, Taiwan will firmly be under Chinese Military control.
My man chuckled and said that depending on how quickly they take Taiwan, they may also absorb some islands they are disputing with Japan.
Anyway, he said the purpose of those seeds and the not-ordered doohickies was NOT to send invasive pants into America, it was to verify addresses.
Each and every mailed package was tracked for delivery verification.  Any one of them not delivered properly was noted.  If there was a forwarding address, their system was updated.  If they were "Return to Sender" it was noted.
The purpose of all those cheap seed packets and cheap things mailed from China was NOT the items themselves; it was the address verifications used for past credit and debit card purchases.
 He practically was yelling at me when he finished:  "It wasn't the FOREST, you idiot!  It was the trees!"
So anyway, watch for it all to go to Hell in a couple of months.  My advice?  Keep a couple of hundred in cash -- in a good collection of ones, fives, tens and twenties -- stashed somewhere at home and at least $40 in cash in your wallet's secret side area.  This way if all your credit and debit cards go belly up, you'll have the ability to get home and survive a couple of days until it all gets straightened out.
It should be an interesting war.
 UPDATE:  Found the mailer:  Turns out the return address of "Jon, 2352 Bent Creek Rd Auburn AL 36830" is a false address and has been RED FLAGGED by the Better Business Bureau as a FALSE BUSINESS: 
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BBB Investigation Results:
BBB has received several complaints indicating this company provides a return address of 2352 Bent Creek Rd, Auburn, AL on their orders. BBB has determined that the address belongs to a gas station and appears to have no connection to this company.
BBB has also identified several other online retail websites that are listing the 2352 Bent Creek Road, Auburn, AL address as their location, however none of the operations appear to have any connection to this address.
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Sample Complaint:  BBB review: Vicki F - 1/5 stars - 06/23/2020
I ordered summer shoes from … Apparently this "Jon" is not a real person and doesn't have a real site! Never order from Summerware again! I can't send them back!
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ANYWAY, if you do research you learn THIS company sprang into existence in May of 2020 and the return address is a fake.  If you look deeper, it turns out it is connected to a scam operation that runs by several names (Summerware, Theepants -- Theepants is on Facebook.  Go ahead and look up the statements from customers -- among others) that started right after Trump set trade sanctions on China.  Apparently they have been collecting Credit Card data and verifying addresses since then and really stepped up the game in the last few months.
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